 |
| "Beethoven's Trumpet" (with Ear)" (2007) by John Baldessari |
The narrator characterizes a good partner as "someone I want to tell my life to" (90), which is how she once thought of Sam.
What are the most important, overlooked, or underrated qualities of a good listener?
Are some people good listeners in general or is "good listening" specific to certain relationships in certain contexts?
I think the most important qualities of a good listener are patience and curiosity. Personally, I feel the most heard when the person I'm talking to lets me finish my story without interrupting, THEN adds their take or asks questions. I also really appreciate it when they engage in the conversation with facial expressions or other outward cues. It makes it seem as though they actually care about what you have to say. I think people are just good or bad listeners. I feel that you are either born a good listener or you have to work towards becoming one.
ReplyDeleteWhile I do agree that not interrupting and outward cues are important qualities of a good listener, I think that a more overlooked quality is asking questions. What I have found is it can be hard to talk about yourself for long periods of time so finding someone who asks thoughtful questions and genuinely cares about your answers is very important. I also think that this is a quality that can be hard to see that you lack so it is crucial to be aware. - Nina Benton
DeleteKylee, I agree with your ideas of what a good listener is: patient, curious, engaging with facial cues or hand gestures. I also agree that some people are naturally better at listening and that listening is a skill that can be developed with practice. However, while I think some people may be naturally more gifted in this area, I also believe a person's upbringing and the examples they have in their life play a significant role in shaping how well they listen. This is not to say that we as people don't have a responsibility to continue improving these skills, regardless of our natural abilities or background.
DeleteI agree that the ultimate quality in a good listener is curiosity and the genuine desire to understand someone. Something I think goes along ways is not initially having an opinion about someone else’s experience. Instead just seeking to understand what they are telling you and asking the right questions. All too often I feel like it is most people’s nature to have an opinion and give advice. Doing so diminishes a persons ability to listen.
ReplyDelete