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| "A Bedtime Story" (1869) by Adolf Eberle |
On the first page of the novel, the narrator describes her husband's habit of telling the children a bedtime story after she had already done so as "a small betrayal" (1).
Does that characterization seem fair to you? In what sense was it a "betrayal"?
Was her husband undermining her children's relationship with her? Was it a "betrayal" because he didn't talk to her about it? Or was it the children who were guilty of the "betrayal"?
Was she hurt because the nightly interaction took place when she wasn't in the room? Or was she hurt because her children didn't consider her funny?
If you have read further in the book, don't reference later events in your response.
I believe that the characterization of “betrayal” is valid. If I had kids that found their father funnier than I was, and asked specifically for HIM to read, I’d see it as a small betrayal as well. From what I understand, her feelings stem from a place of jealousy. She mentions that her husband tells the stories with the wrong characters. It seems like she’s jealous of not only her husband’s creativity that she seems to lack, but also the way her kids love these kinds of stories. In my opinion, she’s hurt from the way her kids, the people she probably loves and cares for the most, don’t find her funny. The way she would listen at the bottom of the stairs every night almost made it seem like she was grieving the relationship she used to have with her kids when they still thought she was funny.
ReplyDeleteKylee Witt, I agree that the characterization of these interactions as a betrayal is valid, but I would argue that the narrator’s jealousy is due to the admiration that the kids have for her husband rather than due to his creativity and jest and her lack of these qualities. She does not sit at the bottom of the staircase because she is jealous of her husband’s superior storytelling but because she is jealous of their children’s asking for these stories as well as their laughs.
DeleteThe above comment is mine, I did realize that I needed to change my name in order to not appear as “anonymous”. I apologize for any confusion.
DeleteBetrayal is very accurate in how she feels like her kids are picking her husband over her when they once adored everything she did when they were younger.
DeleteAdding on to Kylee Witt’s comment, I agree. I, too, would be jealous if my children begged for my husband’s rendition of stories they once loved to hear me read. Additionally, I believe that his habit also directly affects the narrator’s own self esteem. One line in particular sticks out to me “A better father.” In the husband’s attempt to outdo the narrator’s storytelling, he, in turn, is causing the narrator to believe they are the “lesser” parent. A small betrayal, the narrator realizes, that the husband may not even realize he’s doing.
ReplyDeleteAlso, in rereading the page and my response, I circled back to the narrator at “the bottom of the staircase.” While literal, this is also symbolic of the husband’s elevated status in the eyes of their children. Again, making the narrator appear as the “lesser” parent.
DeleteI believe that the narrator's feelings of betrayal, or jealousy are valid. However, I don't think its fair to the husband to characterize him in this way. I see it as the husband simply spending time with his children in his own, personalized way. But, I do understand how it might hurt to hear your husband retell your stories at your own children's request because they think his are better.
ReplyDeleteI find that the narrator is justified in feeling betrayed. Although I do not believe the father is doing this maliciously, it makes sense for the mother to send this emotion and blame to him in a way. I believe the main reason the betrayal feelings are there is because it became the father getting to entertain the children instead of the mother. Especially for the profession the mother has, being a writer, it could cause these feelings. I believe these feelings came from the fact that she believes her children did not find her funny anymore.
ReplyDeleteI believe that it is human nature to deflect blame, especially for what we feel to be our own inadequacies. In this situation, our protagonist is not only experiencing this, but the feeling has evolved into what I see as an image of herself being the problem and her husband being the solution. Her feelings of jealousy are, in that way, extremely fair and even common in this situation where I feel there is no betrayal; however, the lack of communication (at least from what we can see in this writing) with her partner will only lead to jealousy boiling over into resentment and anger. In that way, it is not only unfair to herself but to everybody involved.
ReplyDeleteI agree that the narrator seems to struggle with feelings of inadequacy. If I were in her situation, I don't think I would be as upset about my husband telling another bedtime story. That makes me think her thoughts come from deeper insecurities rather than the bedtime stories themselves. Because she doesn't communicate her feelings to her husband, she convinces herself that her children don't find her funny or enjoy her stories as much. She interprets the situation as a sign that she is being replaced, which makes her feelings of jealousy and resentment grow.
DeleteCharacterizing the incident as a "small betrayal" makes sense to me and is justified. Her children seem to be at fault for this betrayal due to them finding her husband funnier than her when they used to find her hysterical. She's hurt by this because her children don't find her funny like they once did. She knows that the moments she had with her kids laughing are over now. She is jealous of her husband now that he will be able to have those moments with their kids that are memories to her now. However, her husband does not do this with ill intent, but he should be more aware of what he is doing. She has a special thing she always does with her kids, and in trying to build a good relationship with his kids, her husband has stolen a moment that is precious to her. The husband might not see it like this, however, and the best way to fix this problem for her is better communication.
ReplyDeleteBoth the husband and the children's actions were a different kind of betrayal in their own right. The husband went behind his wife's back, almost cockily, to tell their children a "better" story. The children begged for that better story, not finding their mother funny or entertaining enough. Now I'm not saying, "how dare them!", but pointing out that the dual betrayal from her husband and kids coming from such a mundane thing as an extra story shows an insecurity from the wife. As for that feeling of the extra story being a small betrayal feeling fair, no, because feelings aren't fair. However, I do think her feelings are valid. I know that if my husband were to continuously give our children a "better" story I would also feel slightly betrayed and like I wasn't good enough.
ReplyDeleteIt is a fair characterization to believe she was betrayed, and I think she felt betrayal from everyone in her family, especially her husband who seemed to go to the children and comfort them with his own unique stories while, though I don't think he knew at all how she was feeling or knew that she had found out, his wife was sad that she wasn't able to entertain her children correctly.
ReplyDeleteI would say it's betrayal that the husband didn't tell her, and continuously went behind her back without even telling her about any of it. Maybe he assumed it would hurt her feelings, but by doing it regardless, he was hurting her and betraying her. I would also say perhaps a bit of it does damage the relationship that she had with their children, as it was her thing with them.
As for what she was hurt by, I would say a combination of both. She was hurt that it was happening without her there, and she, just as every other person can reasonably be hurt by, was hurt that her children didn't find her funny. That's her way of bonding, and she enjoyed being able to make them laugh.
I think outlining it as a betrayal is a very fair process - as a parent I know that the special things you do with your kiddos are important for your feelings of connection and when someone changes that dynamic it can definitely feel like something is lost. The betrayal for me comes from the continuation of the act - and probably the awareness on some level by the husband that it does "steal" something from his wife.
ReplyDeleteI question whether the author truly felt betrayed. I love the way she describes the scene and calls on both a loving and resentful emotional scheme for the scenario of her husband reading the stories to their children in his own unique way, and also Katie illustrates maybe a sense of unworthiness in her story telling instead of proudly being her unique version of telling the story. While as a parent I understand it’s hard coming in second, in this scenario I feel her children’s love and joy for the stories are far greater than any true feelings of her betrayal.
ReplyDelete“James Wilkin”
DeleteAnd in case my children opt to listen to my partner instead of me, I will be hurt too, undoubtedly. From the point of view of a parent, it will be hard not to take that situation personally because you naturally expect your kids to respect and value your advice. On the other hand, I also understand the behavior of children. Perhaps, he was able to give more detailed explanation of some things or maybe just used better way of communication which was understood by them better. Kids do not always listen to their parents because they love them but rather because someone caught their attention at a particular moment. Thus, I can understand that for a parent it may seem like a betrayal from her kids because it may look like parents are not needed anymore.
ReplyDeleteThe author characterizing her husband's habit of reading the kids a bedtime story after the author had already done so as " a small betrayal" is not fair. I do not believe that the author's husband is betraying her in any way because he is simply doing what the kids have asked of him. He is not betraying his wife's relationship with her kids because she still gets to tell them a bedtime story. Just because the kids like the story more when it is being told by their father, does not mean the author is being betrayed. Her husband is just keeping a good relationship with his children by doing what they ask of him. He is not intentionally taking anything away from the author or trying to betray her. However, I can see how the author would think it is betrayal in the sense that her husband did not invite her in the room for his story time or include her in any way.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe he was undermining the author's relationship with the kids. However, I do believe that it could be seen as betrayal by the author that her husband wasn't telling her about the story time because it can seem like he's hiding it from her. I don't think the children were betraying her at all because they are just children and are simply asking for the father to read them the story because they like it. They aren't intentionally betraying the author. Also, I believe that the author was hurt because the interaction occurred when she was not in the room and that her kids didn't find her funny because as a parent, she wants to see her kids be happy and she also wants to be the one making them happy, and she didn't get to do either of those.
The characterization of "betrayal" seems fair to me because he was taking over a place that she was already trying to fill without considering her feelings. Sure, some of it comes from the children as well, when they favor their father's creativity, but in the end he should be able to understand her wanting that time for companionship with her children. She seemed to be hurt simply by being excluded and pushed away in favor of their father.
ReplyDelete