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| Scene from "Hidden Figures" (2016) starring Taraji Henson |
Have you ever found yourself alone in a space where you were visibly different than everyone else in the space and you were not an authority (like an older person teaching younger children)? Were you made to feel unwelcome? Did you feel unwelcome even if nobody went out of their way to make you feel unwelcome? Describe the experience.
Alternatively, have you ever found yourself in a space with someone who is visibly different from you and from everyone else in the room and seen how someone made an effort to exclude the person who was different from everyone else? Describe the experience.
I moved to Oklahoma after my Sophomore year in high school and started my Junior year at a brand new school. While I don’t think anyone did anything to deliberately make me feel unwelcome, when everyone else had known each other for years and had formed deep friendships, it was hard to ever feel like I belonged there. It was hard to escape the feeling that I was the outsider, but, luckily, I would eventually make good friends, some of which I still keep in touch with now.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was younger, I always wanted to play basketball and softball. I played for years, but never really got anywhere with it because I am not athletically gifted. You could tell by looking around at other girls my age that they were in fact more athletic than me. I grew early so I was always way taller than everyone else which made me visibly different. Being tall like that, I ran awkward and I did not get places quickly. I was also very clumsy, so I was never "good." Since I was not one of the good players, I noticed I stopped fitting in with the rest of the girls. When practices came along, I felt unwelcome and like I was a burden to my team because I wasn't very athletic. I don't think anyone went out of their way to make me feel unwelcome, I think the girls just fell into friend groups that I didn't. Alternatively, I have been in a room numerous times with special needs students who are different than me, and noticed how other students will exclude them because they're, "weird," "eat messy," or "special." I've noticed when students notice someone different than them they just automatically think it is wrong instead of accepting difference.
ReplyDeleteDuring my junior or senior year in high school, a new girl arrived. I understood what it was like to arrive at a new school, especially one where everyone grew up together and had already split themselves up into groups. I saw myself in her, except there was a huge difference. Where I had easily been accepted and found new friends, this girl had special needs. No one spoke to her, and if they did, it was to tease her. I said something about it to a teacher, and eventually they did an investigation, but I never knew what came of it. The girl was left alone, and she did make friends. In a way, I was scared to befriend her. I had never known anyone with special needs, and while I could smile and greet her nicely, I never knew how to talk to her. So I didn’t. I felt like it was easier this way. Of course, now I know that was wrong. But I understand partly now why some people can be excluded. People are afraid of the unknown. We instead choose to avoid or exclude, to tease or bully. It is a sad truth, but one that we can learn and grow from. I did.
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