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| Detail from "The Kiss" (1907-08) by Gustav Klimt |
Frankie is reluctant to tell her mother and her girlfriends about her relationship with Henry because, although she doesn't love him, she is engaged in an intimate physical relationship with him. As she puts it, "it felt vaguely wrong, immoral maybe, to touch a man you didn't love, to sleep in his arms for hours and watch him leave before dawn to go to work" (336).
Presumably, they are doing more than holding hands. Independent of their marital status, do you believe that it is immoral for her to be in such a relationship with him if she doesn't love him?
Question- Engaging in a physical relationship with another consenting adult, even while unmarried, is not immoral. Where this interaction begins to push morals is the fact that she does not love him. If it were a relationship purely for relieving stress and loneliness for both sides, it would be completely fine. However, Henry is truly in love with her. Frankie not telling Henry that she does not love him is manipulative, and if or when Henry discovers it has been one-sided the whole time, it could destroy him.
ReplyDeleteI thought I was doing better... With great remorse, Taylor Inselman
DeletePeople have different values about physical intimacy and its role in relationships, but, in my eyes, as long as they’re both consenting adults, it’s okay. The real problem of Frankie and Henry’s relationship is their conflicting views on their relationship; For Henry, he genuinely loves Frankie, but for Frankie, she’s intimate with Henry for the purpose of escapism from her trauma. The conflicting desires from the relationship create an unhealthy dynamic, and Frankie not being honest with Henry about how she feels is immoral.
ReplyDeleteFrankie and Henry, who are both adults, knowingly have the relations they do with intent and consent, so no, I do not think it is immoral. However, Henry was in love with Frankie, whilst she was not in love with him. This can be where it is seen as immoral. Frankie did not disclose that she had never felt the same way for him, and that she truly only wanted intimacy until she found herself falling into a relationship with Henry. She understood throughout the entirety of their relationship that she was not in love with him, yet it seemed almost as if she didn't care enough about his feelings for her to tell the truth, so she let Henry believe she felt the same way for him to avoid being alone again. While I do understand Frankie not wanting to be alone, I see this as cruel, especially with how far she let the relationship go before ending it.
ReplyDeleteI don’t think it’s immoral, or at least not too immoral. It’s almost like a friends with benefits situation but rather than the benefit being purely physical intimacy, it’s more about supporting each other through their own losses. It’s understandable, but not something I would personally resort to if I lost my lover. -Zeeva Skidmore-Beaney
ReplyDeleteQ2: I do believe this is a morally grey area. There is nuance that isn’t exactly talked about, at least in reference to this question. In situations like a mutual one-night stand with no feelings between the two, I do not see an issue. However, when it comes to Henry, who is genuinely in love with her (regardless, as you said, of their marital status) while she is not, I do believe it is wrong. Especially and specifically if she is aware of his feelings and carries on anyway. It is selfish, but given the situation and the war around them, the fear and knowledge they could die any day, I believe judging them by today’s standards or the standards of one not living in war would be remiss. In the end, I lean towards a yes that it is immoral, however.
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ReplyDeletePresumably, they are doing more than holding hands. Independent of their marital status, do you believe that it is immoral for her to be in such a relationship with him if she doesn't love him?
I wouldn't say it's immoral but for Frankie to continue the relationship with Henry while not feeling the same it would lead to feelings of guilt. I do believe it is wrong for Frankie to continue to lead him on but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. (pushing it down and praying)