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| As Betty (January Jones) and Megan Draper (Jessica Paré) in Mad Men (tv series; 2007-2015). |
Some might argue that this is a very civilized proposal and a mature, rational, and healthy thing to do for all parties affected by the divorce, including the children.
Are there any rational reasons other than petty immaturity for indefinitely postponing such a meeting?
Personally I do not like the idea of him having her meet Maggie. It just feels petty and wrong. However, I do understand the meeting as a way to put the past behind them as she may see Maggie on occasion, and it’s a good way to stay civil. For instance, it might be good that they are meeting so she feels ok if her children are with her when they are at their father’s.
ReplyDeleteAvery, I agree with what you said. I can see both perspectives. I think that the narrator most definitely needed to meet the new women who will be with her children but I can also see how their meeting could have been set up by Sam just to make the narrator feel poorly.
DeleteI think it’s a little soon to be introducing the narrator to Maggie. They have not been split up very long, and I'm not sure if the divorce is even finalized. If I were in the same situation as the narrator, I would need more time to process the situation and come to terms with the fact that my marriage has ended. They had a long marriage with two kids, so it would definitely be hard to just get over that in a few months. I do believe the interaction needed to happen at some point, but it could have waited a while. There are reasons for postponing the meeting and nice ways of telling them. Like, you need longer to process, or she could have told Sam about her health and told him they could meet when she was feeling better with the situation. I think Sam was being pushy and could have been more considerate of the narrator's feelings, considering he was the one who ended the marriage abruptly and had already moved on.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I believe that Sam introducing the narrator to Maggie is a cruel decision. While it is true that they had been divorced for several months at this point in the book, wounds like finding out your spouse is cheating on you take a substantial amount of time to heal, and even when they do heal, that wound is going to be incredibly tender. Your spouse is supposed to be the person that you cannot live without, your best friend, and introducing your ex-spouse to the person that they were cheated on with feels like spitting in their face to me. I see it as saying, "This is the person I met who is better than you," directly to their face. I believe there are some rational reasons to postponing this meeting indefinitely other than petty immaturity. If I were in the narrator's shoes, I would personally not want to meet the person for my own sake, it would likely severely negatively impact my mental health if I were to meet someone I was cheated on with. In the event that this is what the narrator wanted, this is, what I believe, to be the most rational and healthy way to have a meeting like this.
ReplyDeleteI forgot to add my name, this was written by Colin Pogue
DeleteI definitely agree with this, not to mention the slap on the face on top of meeting her, when the main character expected a small apology or a grapevine at the least, and instead got told, "There is something in your teeth." To be in that situation, handle it politely, then get told that? I would be enraged and embarrassed. I also would not want to meet them in the first place like you said, much less have a whole meal set up where you're forced to watch and interact with them.
DeleteI see Sam wanting to introduce the narrator to Maggie as a little bit petty. The divorce papers are still warm from the printer and he's already wanting them to meet. Although it is necessary for the narrator to meet the woman who will potentially become important in her children's lives, I think it should be done on terms agreed upon by both parties. The children should be given adequate time to adjust to their new family dynamic before someone new is introduced. Additionally, someone new shouldn't be introduced until the mother is agreeable to bringing someone into her children's life.
ReplyDeleteAlthough Sam is unaware the narrator is battling cancer, it is still an inconvenient time in her life to add this stressor. As we've seen throughout the book, the narrator has had a hard time with her identity throughout her life. As do many women, she thinks a lot about how she is perceived by other people. Adding this mental load of how she might be perceived by the woman who stole her husband would be difficult while she is already struggling with her physical health.
I completely agree with your comment. Sam seems to be petty and immature throughout the entire book and him rushing them meeting is sort of the cherry on top when it comes to his immaturity. It should definately happen when both parrties agree is a good time. I especially agree with your note about the woman being brought into the childrens lives. Although some mothers could take advantage and never want the step mom to meed their kids but if this is not the case I think this new person should be introduced to the kids when the mother is okay with it or has a chance to talk to her kids about it.
DeleteConsidering the narrator had to go through breast cancer without her husband by her side and a divorce and a new woman I think it is 100% rational to want to postpone the meeting. However, considering this woman is going to be in her children's lives I think if she were to do it indefinitely it would be a bit immature.
ReplyDeleteI believe that the narrator meeting Maggie was something that was inevitable. However, I think it happened way too soon. The narrator is currently going through a hard time in her life, and I don't think it's necessary for the narrator to meet with her right now. Another thing I noticed is that Sam doesn't seem to care at all about how this is affecting the narrator. He just talks to her as if she's his friend and it feels wrong.
ReplyDeleteContrary to most replies, I feel the need to play devil's advocate in this situation. To me, it's clear that Sam, throughout the entire situation, has tried to shrink and disappear peacefully out of the protagonist's life. This is stated several times, such as when Sam watches things on his laptop instead of on the TV to make as little noise as possible in the house. This is why I don't believe Sam is just trying to be petty or to rub anything in our protagonist's face. It also appears to me throughout the story that, while Sam is obviously not a good person like most fathers, he does truly care for not only his children but his wife as well. Therefore it makes sense that whenever Sam plans to i believe move in with Maggie which would make sense given it has been several months since the beginning of this story and the infidelity between Sam and Maggie been going on for months before, that Same would want our protagonist to meet the woman who is going to be spending a lot of time with her children and most likely going to naturally fall into the mother role when the kids are with Sam. Overall, even if it's difficult and may seem petty or selfish, it is overall the mature and correct thing to do.
ReplyDeleteWhile I do understand that this is an attempt to put their past behind them, I feel that this just makes the matter all that more real. I feel as if Sam had good intentions at times, but it is important to note that the affair situation is apparent because of him. The narrator did not want to be involved in this, but now has no choice but to face it. In addition, she is now facing the woman that was on the other end of the affair. I know that this was important for parties outside of the narrator, but I can't help but think of how she must feel knowing she is coming face to face with one of the "Maggies" that has caused her so much trouble.
ReplyDelete- Hannah Whitaker
ReplyDeleteYes, I think that there are rational reasons other than petty immaturity to postpone the meeting for a while, but not indefinitely. It's not fair for Sam to try to rush her into meeting the woman she was replaced with. Instead, it should be something she does when she feels comfortable and ready to do so. I do think it would be immature to never meet her, because I think it could be a good thing to meet the new woman who will also be seeing and taking care of her child. To me, it also seems like Sam is trying to make her get over their marriage in a way, but the wounds of the divorce are still fresh. That's another reason I think it's fair for her to postpone the meeting, especially since she is also dealing with a lot more phycological stuff on top of the divorce because of her cancer diagnosis.
ReplyDeleteI wrote this, I just forgot to put my name in the top.
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