Soni reports that when a woman saw him a heavy backpack on a train, she guessed--based on his appearance--that he was a terrorist and that the backpack contained a bomb.
Based on your appearance, what wrong assumptions might strangers make about you?
I am a young, healthy looking woman but about eighty percent of the time I am in a wheelchair and when I am not in my chair I use a cane. Some people when they see me assume I am paralyzed until I move my legs. Then I receive questioning looks at best and bad looks at worst. What they do not understand is that I have many autoimmune diseases or invisible diseases. So, I do not look sick but I am. This past year people who have no idea what is going on, talk about me or being in my situation. One that really stuck with me is a girl telling her friend that if she is ever in a wheelchair to put her down. Then the people brave enough to ask me what is going on expect to have a full explanation even if I have never even talked to them before. As if they deserve access to my full medical history. It becomes very exhausting to deal with such possibly different reactions from the people that surround me.
ReplyDeleteWhile my experience is very different from Soni’s I do understand people making snap judgements that are not true. Everyone makes these snap judgements all the time. However, making these snap decisions and acting on them are completely different. Assumptions are just guesses they are not fact but some do not see that and that's where it matters. Having a thought like ‘Oh wow, she is awfully young to have a mobility aid. I wonder why’ and a thought like ‘Oh wow, she is awfully young to have a mobility aid. I bet she is faking for attention and now I need to find out’ are so very different. Just like for Soni, the woman made an assumption and took a bad turn of action based on his appearance. It is difficult to not make assumptions based on appearance but doesn’t hearing my story and Soni’s not beg for people to try and not act on these guesses until they know more information?
At first, I had trouble answering this question because I think that a person could look at me and make a lot of assumptions that are actually true, not false. I look like a basic white girl, and I really do fit that title, for the most part. However, I dug a little deeper and decided that I think I can provide an answer here. Especially coming back to school this semester, I think a lot of people can look at me or my social media and assume I had a great summer and that I have it all together. The truth behind it is that my summer was awful. My family dealt with loss, sickness, and a lot of grief, all summer long. It's hard to see because I am a friendly, outgoing person and I don't love to talk about it. I will likely skip over that part of summer, and tell you I worked, went to camp, and hung out with friends. In addition, I hardly ever have it all together, even though I try to seem like I do. I am anxious, stressed, and just taking it day by day, like everyone else. Although my example is much different than Soni's, it still is hurtful when people make assumptions without knowing what's actually going on.
ReplyDeleteAdalyn, I understand what you mean. This summer, I also dealt with a really hard loss right before school started and I've had to spend a lot of time grieving as well. Social media doesn't show the difficulties going on in our lives, and it's easy to make assumptions about others when you can't see behind the scenes. I hope this school year can be healing for you, and I'm very sorry to hear of your loss.
DeleteSome might think that I'm a guy in his 30s. This is usually harmless until employers forget that I'm not, or I'm yelled at for not being a man for such and such reason. I've also been hyper focused on for things like my mustache paired with my aviators, which somehow makes people think I'm a creep or serial killer. Your revised answer provides more detail and context, which adds depth to your response. It explains specific aspects of your appearance (e.g., mustache, aviators) and how they lead to unfair and exaggerated assumptions, like being compared to a serial killer. This makes your answer more vivid and personal, highlighting how frustrating and ridiculous these assumptions can be. I attribute this to unfortunate associations with figures like Jeffrey Dahmer, who had a similar combo of a mustache, aviators, and a combover (even if the combo composition is completely different). It's really ridiculous that people can make such wild accusations based solely on how I style my hair or what frames I wear. It leaves me with the question of “how many people actually think that, and choose not to interact with me because of it?”
ReplyDeleteTo comment on the middle section indiscrepancies, I felt as if my words didn't do justice to how I connected the prior statement, and prompted the question of if my awnser satisfied the prompt. I'll put the original version of it below.
Delete"I attribute this to the fact that Jeffrey Dahmer had a (by no means the same) combover, mustache, and aviator combo. I think it's really ridiculous how such a accusation could be made over how I style my hair, or what frames I wear on my face."
DeleteI relate to the sentiments you have shared here a lot. I had prescription glasses in the style of aviators with the support brace across the top right when the Dahmer series exploded in popularity. I decided to stop wearing them because of the comparisons that were made to Dahmer and myself multiple times daily. I feel for you but it's important to remember that your character is what really shines through in situations where it matters.
DeleteTo most people, I appear as a pretty average person, but taking a closer look at my appearance might raise some judgement. For instance, although I am a 19 year old, I still have acne on my face most of the time, and when I'm wearing a tank top, I have visible acne on my shoulders. The image of acne on my face and body can conjure an image of dirtiness. I have acne, so I must not take care of myself. I must not take care of my body if I have acne on my shoulders. However, the truth is quite contrary, I spend more time than I'd like to admit taking care of my face and body to help reduce the amount of breakouts I get. People comment on it a lot, and they also give me unsolicited advice on how they think I should fix it.
ReplyDeleteAnother aspect of my appearance that people judge me on is what I wear. I prefer to dress in darker clothes, band t-shirts, and heavy jewelry when I get the chance, and this causes a lot of people to stereotype me. I do not really think of my style as particularly heavy in comparison to other styles, but a lot of adults and older people tell me that I look "scary", "uninviting", or "dangerous". Sometimes those comments make me feel like I'm bothering others: like they think I'm going to attack someone or do something creepy, but for the most part, people just avoid me if they have a problem with the way I look. It's kind of funny because I get opposite reactions from kids most of the time. They compliment my outfits and say they want to look like me when they are older.
When I look at myself in the mirror, I can imagine people make several assumptions about me. Personally, I feel as though people put me into stereotypical boxes, mostly about my intelligence. I am blonde. I am an athlete. I am described as peppy, social able and emotive. When people look at me many would assume my intelligence based on harmful stereotypes, dumb blonde, dumb athlete, and self-centered. As I've met people and explained that I'm a biology major I've gotten several comments ranging from "not kinesiology?" and "that's surprising". I feel like people put me into a box based on my looks and even though these words and assumptions are not as harmful as Soni's experiences they still are important. Words are often more poignant than actions and can leave lasting scares emotionally and mentally. I do not like the assumptions people make about me and every day I try to further myself from them.
ReplyDelete^Belle H
DeleteI can't know for sure, but when most people look at me, I think they see a clumsy, dumb blonde. I love to play volleyball for fun, but I'm afraid that others will think badly of me since I'm not the best at it. I may not be the most graceful person, but I feel like I've grown into myself and am way less awkward than middle school me.
ReplyDeleteI don't always know what to say in situations, and I sometimes don't know the answer to obvious questions, but that doesn't make me dumb; it means I'm uneducated on the topic. I always try to listen before I speak and learn before I present an opinion.
The fear of these assumptions holds me back from doing some of the things I want to do. I really hope people can learn not to make quick assumptions based on others' appearances.
-Rachel Bernardy