Given what Norah learns about the life she thought she missed out on, does this challenge you to think differently about things you think you might have missed out on? Do you think most people in our society tend to idealize experiences they missed out on or do they try to diminish their importance? Can you think of examples in your own life when you have done one or the other?
My initial impression of Nora’s trip into her alternate life was that she would love it and start to wish that she would have stuck with that life. As the chapter progressed I noticed that Dan was not who she thought he was and he had done some messed up things so she starts to realize that she didn’t need that life. I tend to not idealize the experiences I have missed out on. I think that as time goes on I will have noticed that I chose the right experience for a reason.
ReplyDeleteAt the beginning of the chapter, I thought that Nora was enjoying her visit to this alternative reality. However, as the chapter progresses and Nora gets to know this version of Dan, I realized that she will probably dislike this reality. I try not to feel bad about things I have missed out on, but sometimes I slip up. I think most people in our society idealize the experiences they've missed out on. People are encouraged to live life to the fullest and experience everything they can. I have regretted not making more friends in high school, but now I realize that it is pointless to focus on what you haven't done.
ReplyDelete-Denna Bussinger
I thought Nora liked the new life she was given at first, she seemed happier and almost excited to see Dan living his dream life. My impression does change towards the end because I then realized how each life had ups and downs and the stresses of life that are completely unavoidable. This does make me think differently about the things I may have missed out on. It makes me realize that I have a pretty good life and it could have been way different, probably for the worse, if I acted on those things. I think most people try to idealize experiences they missed out on, because my parents, for example, always told me that they missed out on life activities due to aspects like children or choosing their relationship over their career. These stories has always had an impact on me and my decisions because without them I would have probably been at a different college making different decisions in life.
ReplyDeleteAt first she seemed really happy, and it seemed like she knew a lot of people and maybe had more friends in this life. Then it just got increasingly evident that she was just as miserable in this life as she was in her original life.
ReplyDeleteIt definitely does have an impact on how I think about any regrets I might have, but I also feel like it’s a bit different for us because most of us don’t really have the same kind of huge regrets that she does. Where truly they could completely change her life, mine are miniscule compared to that, still huge to me, but they really wouldn’t change much. I feel like society definitely does a bit of both and I definitely also feel like it depends on a variety of things, like someone's way of dealing with stuff and if the regret is something truly life changing. When I was a freshman in highschool, there was a senior that I really looked up to and was always there whenever I needed help with anything. Towards the end of my freshman year he committed suicide and I remember regretting never telling him how much he meant to me and that he was my role model and that I was so thankful for everything he did for me. That quickly turned into “maybe if I had told him he’d still be here.” It took me a little while to realize that, while I would still go back and change it in a heartbeat, thinking about the past won’t change the present. With that in mind, I try to tell everyone that helps me out in life, or that I really look up to, or someone that is just a friend how much they mean to me, because you never know how much you could regret not saying it.
Your comment and story is really powerful. I'm sure that was a hard time for you and it's really great you were able to work through that, grow, and share it.
Delete-Jenna Whitehead
Nora seemed peaceful in this life, but as she learned more I could see her disappointment grow. I can't imagine stepping into a new life and facing the sorrows of it so quickly.
ReplyDeleteI moved from a big school in Texas to a very small school in Oklahoma, and I've liked living here a lot, but it's almost fun to imagine who I'd be if I stayed. So I suppose I idealize and diminish that possibility.
-Jenna Whitehead
I meant to reply to this, but I wrote a separate post.
DeleteI agree. Especially since it was her first experience in this type of situation, the hope quickly died for Nora as it was not what she was expecting.
ReplyDeleteI had a similar situation to yours, but I moved from a very small school to a large school. It's not the biggest school, but it was definitely larger than what I was used to. I think about it quite often and wonder who I would be and what I would be like if I had stayed. I think about the friends I have now, and it makes me sad to realize I would be in a life without them, but I also know I would have different friends who would probably mean as much to me as my now friends do. I agree with how you said you idealized and diminished the possibilities.
-Anna Stone
This was meant to be a reply to Jenna
DeleteFrom my experience, the thought of "what if..?" has been, and always will be, appealing. Nora thinking back to the last point in life that she felt happy and trying to relive that through this life is something that I immediately had a bad feeling about, and as the scene progressed, my feelings were validated. This life was never meant for her, even if she thought it would be the best way out of the hole she had found herself in at the beginning of the story. Instead, she saw that her fears of being unhappy in this place, following Dan's dreams instead of her own, were logical, and at the end of the day she made the right choice for herself, even if she couldn't see it until the end. Now, are there moments in my life, major decisions even, that I look back at and wish I handled things differently? Of course. But I think the value in those moments is the experience. It's not as much of a regret for me as it is a lesson, and one that makes me so incredibly happy to have experienced. Going to dances when I hate loud music to try and be a bit more social, attending a trade school during my junior and senior years to study something I had only tangential experience in, etc.. These were teaching moments, decisions that I made to try and better myself, and I think I came out the other side better in the end, much like Nora came out of this life for an appreciation for her decision.
ReplyDeleteWhen I began to read, my first impression was that she was going to thoroughly enjoy her alternate life with Dan. However, as the alternate life continued, she began to learn that her life with Dan owning the pub was not all it appeared to be. I believe the majority of people idealize the experiences they may or may not have missed out on solely due to the chance of there being a better choice. Most, including myself, likely beat themselves up over the possibility of a missed opportunity. I do catch myself questioning if I made the right choices in certain situations; however, I remind myself that everything happens for a reason, even if the experience is negative, which cumulatively leads to a bigger picture.- Corbin Vinson
ReplyDeleteAt first, I thought this was the life meant for Nora. She seemingly had everything. As the chapter progressed, I saw the major flaws of this life. I believe this could be the case for many things I thought I had missed out on. I feel that most of us romanticize situations that could happen and "overhype" them to where they seem dull when they actually happen, or make us wish we taken that opportunity more. I could be mourning a situation I think I missed out on when I could really have just dodged a bullet but I wouldn't have ever known it.
ReplyDeleteI think our society tends to idealize experiences they missed out on which is why Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) is a thing. I think we do this because life is never perfect as we can kind of see through Nora’s real life and the first alternate life she explores. When things aren’t perfect, I think it is so easy to think there is another reality where things are. However, as we can see as the chapter progresses, there really is no such thing as a perfect life. I mean I know I have often dwelt on things that I decided not to go to or do and how that could have changed my circumstances today. However, I also think that it is important to realize that you can’t change the past and that one choice might have a huge impact on how your future plays out, but it isn’t going to ruin your life forever.
ReplyDeleteI was immediately weary of Nora's trip. I thought that if it did not work out in the first place and she was not sure she wanted to marry him, she was probably right to call the wedding off. So I did not have high hopes for this alternative reality. My impression did not really change throughout the chapter. I felt like my theory was verified as the story unfolded.
ReplyDeleteThis made me think that where I am, no matter how happy, sad, or worried I am, is probably where I am supposed to be. You can spend time thinking about how maybe if you went a different way in life you would be happier, but ultimately the grass always seems greener on the other side. I think that fomo is a really big thing in our society and people are always missing what they might have had, when in reality they are exactly where they are supposed to be. Although I advocate against fomo, I have been victim to it myself. I am terrible about decision making so it is a struggle if I have to pick one group of friends to spend time with over another. I think if I choose one, I am going to miss something really big going on in the other. But usually once I begin doing whatever I chose, the fomo fades quickly.
I think a major problem with society is the fact that we tend to dwell on past mistakes or missed opportunities. People often idealize a better past where they did something differently or took advantage of a sudden opportunity and fantasize about how their life could have played out had they made another choice. I have my own experiences with this issue. You lie awake at night sometimes thinking about what you could have done differently and how much better your life would be. Something important to consider is that it's never too late. You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
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