Saturday, June 20, 2015
To Serve
“What buoyed him, despite his limitations, was having a purpose. It was the same purpose, he said, that sustained him in medicine: to be of service, in some way, to those around him” (49). Are there any dangers to having “serving others” as your main purpose in life?
If you haven’t read a children’s book called The Giving Tree, by Shel Silverstein, I recommend that you read it and consider it by the light of this question. You might also watch the video below.
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I do believe that there are dangers to serving others as your main purpose in life. Soon you forget who you are. You forget how good you are at other things. How much of a difference you can make doing other things. As human beings, we form habits easily. After a while serving someone for a short period of time can turn into your life's commitment.
ReplyDeleteThings may be different if that's your personality and serving other's is truly your passion. However there is a fine line between serving others and being taken advantage of.
I see where you are coming from. As a nurse I try my best to not get too close to the residents that I take care of. I am passionate in my profession and I love doing what I do. At times when I am at my wits end I wonder how different things would be if I went on a less stressful career path. But then I am reminded that I feel an every growing joy in what I do and even though I might become frustrated I feel fixed and rooted in this profession. Nursing is what I think about day in and day out and even more I love the residents that are under my care. They are the reason I choose this path for my life.
Delete"Serving others" is motivation to continue your daily life; for example, a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Serving others doesn't necessarily have to be physical help - it could be as simple as reading a book/journal article and writing your thoughts about it. Perhaps your ideas could influence someone else down the line. If you are simply just trying to survive each day rather than make some contribution to the planet, then one may slowly begin to feel that they are helpless and unneeded. In other words "a burden on society." I believe this is where the symptoms of depression in the elderly first begin.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Linzi, that the elderly feel at loss without the opportunity to serve. I also believe that actions of servitude become more frequent the older one gets, so as teenagers, selfish motivations are more common, whereas older people strive to help others. Eventually, the elderly’s purpose of living becomes serving others. The danger in people having their main purpose in life as “serving others” is that, after a time, they may give all that they have and lose themselves entirely. Then when they are elderly, with no independence to serve others, they won’t know who they are and will have no reason to keep living. Serving others does give a purpose and it is a wonderful course of action, but people should not let it absorb every part of who they are, simply because they will not know what to do without their main purpose in life. It will leave them with no sense of need or even identity. They will feel as though the world no longer needs them, and as Linzi stated, that can lead to depression or more health problems.
DeleteIts funny that you bring up depression and the feeling of helplessness because I used to feel this way from the beginning months of my nursing assistant job. I felt like no matter what I did nothing I was doing was making that great of an impact. I was reconsidering about my choice of being a nurse and was thinking about being another field that didn't deal with the high pressures of a hospital/ nursing home. I was reminded by a great nurse that we are all under the same pressures and expectations in our field and the needs of the patients can be sort of too much at times, but that is what makes the job so unique and worthwhile. Without nurses how are doctors going to receive the right info and charting about the residents daily living skills and statistics. I was had a important part in these people's lives and I needed to do my best to restore what health could be obtained back to them. I constantly strived to work harder and harder and eventually by the help of med aids, hospice nurses, and registered nurses I was able to fully know that what I was doing was my dream and mission in life. Without those nurses and co-workers I probably would have chosen a different career path.
DeleteI completely agree with Linzi. I believe that for people to feel like they have a purpose they must serve others. That does not mean that a person must serve others before yourself, but it does mean that happiness is found in making others happy. Personally, I feel my best when I have helped someone else succeed at something. I believe that depression can be beat if a person with symptoms of depression finds something they can do to help those around them. Depression can be beat by feeling that you have a purpose.
DeleteI also agree with Linzi that people can find meaning in life through service. You can live for serving others. I do, however, also believe that boundaries are important in those relationships. It is my opinion that service should be mutually beneficial. There is a fine line between a desire to serve and an obligation to serve. If one views service as just an obligation, one runs the risk of burning themselves out. So yes, service can provide meaning, but it is vital that you evaluate your reasons for serving.
DeleteOne major mistake people make in relationships is paying too much attention to the other person and not enough to themselves. Like in The Giving Tree, this can result in (literally) losing oneself for the sake of another’s happiness. While it is important to consider the needs of others, particularly loved ones, it is equally important to pay attention to one’s own happiness. Having a purpose in life is, in my opinion, necessary to achieve happiness. However, basing that happiness on the wellbeing of others, be it one specific person or many, is not healthy. After all, eventually, that one person will be gone, and there will always be unwell people in the world. “Serving others” would be a terrible thing to live for.
ReplyDelete-Madi C.
I have thought that my mission in life and purpose on this earth was to serve others and I am now seeing different beliefs about this topic. Madison you bring up an important and significant question in today's world. Are we willing to focus so much on other people that we forget who we are (our identity)? There is a fine line between wanting to serve others but at the same time find time for yourself and putting all your life-devotion into people. There are moments in my life that I feel dried up so to speak and that I have nothing to give to people. This usually occurs when I am sick or ill or having a bad day. But I see this being very unhealthy too- letting my feelings control the way I think about myself and others and how I work. I believe in serving others with everything you got, but still finding that that in between so I will still find happiness outside of work. So Madison how do you feel about certain circumstances in which you have to take care of a loved one that is declining (health wise) due to age? When you are the only care-giver and you want a balanced life too- without making the other person feel like a burden.
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DeleteServing others can be a touchy subject. And before I began I want to share a struggle I have been dealing with. My family has helped me with it and it seems to be caused by being "too" compassionate and not giving "myself" a break from it all. I have depression at times and sometimes it can get pretty bad. I don't like taking meds for things like this so I choose not too (personally). Just like my grandmother I am a perfectionist and I love to work a lot at my work place. I do not really let myself relax much do to the constant bickering inside my mind that tells me that I need to stay productive from the break of dawn to midnight. So I do believe from reading all these posts that I need to love my job, but know that its ok to not work a lot at my age and its ok to freely explore my interests and other passions. I love playing piano and would love to play on it for countless hours on end if I could. So yes by experience "serving others" can be dangerous to oneself and others in their lives. Moderation is key in everything you do.
ReplyDeleteAs someone who has given my life to Christ and allows Him to be in control of every aspect of it, I believe that love and service are two of life’s greatest joys. Acts of service don’t have to always be huge. In every day life, they can be tiny things that can simply make one person’s day better. I can see how it could become unhealthy for some. As an example, if someone never thinks they’re doing enough, and they feel the need to try harder and harder, it could become stressful and overrule every other part of their life. However, if someone understands that serving others is a gift and not a job, it shouldn’t cause any dangers, only promote happiness, and therefore healthiness, in their life.
ReplyDelete'Serving Others' can mean something different for different people. Not all of it has to be a physical service. Likewise not all services are even intentional. One example being that my son Hayden does me a service everyday, giving me the motivation I need to get out of bed and get through the day. He does not know that his presence in my life helps, and he doesn't try to do anything special. But I might not be able to get through the days without him. But he is not the only thing that pushes me along. I have many other, smaller contributions that help me along. I cannot depend upon him to be around my entire life. That puts too much pressure on him. And there enlies my answer. To have 'serving others' as your Main purpose in life is not at all a bad thing. It's when/if you make it your Only purpose in life that you start getting issues.
ReplyDeleteMaranda Clymer
I do believe heavily that going out of one's ways for others is a good thing. Being generous, kind, and well-spirited help the world be a better place, and that tackling other's problems head on is a goo way to be a nice person. One can boost self esteem, confidence, moral and spirit all while helping some one solve a problem or difficulty faced at the time or something that has been prolonged or will be faced soon. Love does help the world go round. Sacrificing time of one's self to others is a marvelous thing to do, see, or hear about. It is infectious and something that easily spread amongst a community, small group, or even just two people alone, which in turn, can spread to one or more people who witness a kind act. However, with the acts of kindness and generosity does come the price and trade off.
ReplyDeleteFor every second a person can second helping another individual out, that is one second lost their own schedule. While this may not seem as a huge deal, the problem can quickly become a headache when thinking along the terms of helping too much to often. A great example I can think of off hand is of my eleventh grade history teacher who helped his uncle get by after he was kicked out of his original home. Mr. X, as I will call him, spent all of his summer taking care of a man who abused the privilege of staying with him, and at one point, managed to burn down a part of their kitchen. Despite also finishing two semesters worth of college, tackling back to school teaching, and his own time, Mr. X did everything he could to give time to his uncle. In the long run, the summer classes for college were not immediately finished, his teaching schedule was thrown off constantly, and his free time was absorbed all because he was being over willing to help his uncle. He had very little time of his own. Things like this, throwing all of your own time towards others instead of yourself, hurt the over all experience one can make in life doing their moment management skills with themselves instead of the want of others.
The priorities of one can also be lost in the track of time, dreams and indulgences. A person can easily put taking others places in cars, helping out with money binds, and other things along those lines of being a friend to others or neighborly. While they are the right things to do, you lose sight of "I need to be at work at this time", "I needed paper towels and gas", or something as simple as "I really wanted to watch tonight's game" and that's what you had planned, needed, or made especially important to you. Instead of doing all of these, you helped others out and missed out on the priorities made separately. While seeming like a small things to those helped, that does not make the situation any better for you. Its far to easy to get side tracked in attempting to help others, and forget about helping one's self. Yet, it does seem to become a habit for some. They throw themselves into the work. This is the most dangerous aspect: Losing one's self in helping others. This can be seen with Mr. X earlier used as an example, and who fits all three signs well. Once the main goals of one are forgotten, they usually slip and that one drifts to accomplish the goals of many.
Sam A.
I believe there is a very delicate balance between serving others and serving yourself. If you serve yourself too much you become bitter or entitled and just generally unhappy. If you mainly serve others, you have the possibility to lose yourself and just like The Giving Tree, you will be all used up. I can’t count how many times someone has used my willingness to help for their own selfish gain. When I see that, it just hurts. It makes me not want to try again. Then again, there will always be someone less fortunate than yourself, and I feel like it is our duty as a human to help when we can.
ReplyDelete(Btw there is a song called The Giving Tree by Plain White T's. It's really good.)
-Lauren Tucker
If we want to truly serve others we need to not expect anything in return in my opinion. Likewise, our own pleasure from “doing something good” should not be our only motivation for our acts of servitude. This brings me to my point: I believe there are no dangers from letting serving others be our main purpose in life as long as we do it right and with the correct expectations. If we live our life trying to manipulate others then we will let ourselves down and ultimately end up hurting those around us, especially our loved ones. I know this to be true for myself from the experiences I have had. Up until about the 8th grade I used to always try to gain friends by giving up my time or helping them with various things. I found that I would just get hurt when they ended up not really wanting to spend time with me or even just sit with me in classes. I felt like they broke their side of the contract even though they had no idea I expected anything of them. This really tore me up and caused trust issues over the years. However, when I had this revelation that I was serving for the wrong reasons I stopped doing it. I tried to only serve because I felt it was the right thing to do from that point on. I enjoyed making others happy and that was good enough for me. I didn’t have this hidden contract so to speak and it took a lot of weight off of my shoulders. At the same time I noticed that this new genuine way of serving began to draw people to me. It had a more positive impact on them, therefore they saw me as a true friend and wanted to have that relationship. To answer the question, I think if we practice true serving (or “safe serving”) as our goal in life then we will not be at risk of the dangers that we would typically see if we had ulterior motives behind our serving.
ReplyDeleteWhen someone says that their purpose in life is to serve others, they seem to be some of the happiest people are the planet earth. As a Christian my purpose in life to glorify my God in all that I do. One of the things that glorify Him the most is to show His love to others by "caring" for them, if that is what you want to call it. So I don't think there are really dangers for serving, but there are definitely ways you can enable someone to be lazy and not motivated to do anything instead of serving them. I have an aunt that has done everything for her kids and now since they have gotten older they still rely on her to do everything for them. If they have a wreck, they expect her to pay for all the damages or if they are not able to pay the bills they want her to come bail them out. So to me the danger of serving someone is that you must know when helping them and when you are hurting them by enabling them. When a Christian seems harsh or maybe seems to refuse to help someone, people say that person's faith is a sham. In some case that may be true, your actions should reflect your faith. But I ask the question then, why do parents discipline their children? Why do they seem to harm their children by spanking them or taking away something they enjoy? That doesn't seem very loving. It's because of their love that they do those things to their children. They want their children to grow up as good citizen toward others and themselves. Parents want to show their kids the right way to live a good life and serve others. So to me there is only one danger and that is enabling someone to keep harming themselves and just watching them do it. Sometimes to serve someone you must show the "tough" love and maybe wake them up to reality.
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