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| "Child with a Puppet" (1903) by Henri Rousseau |
To what extent do you think “culture” shapes our attitudes towards others, especially those who less fortunate than we are?
Is “mean-spiritedness” better understood as a personal quality, unique to individuals, or might we use such a term to describe society at large?
Might the society you grew up in be fairly characterized as lacking compassion in some way?
I think that "mean-spiritedness" can of course be a personal quality - some people are more mean than others. However, you may also see a culture be "mean-spirited" unintentionally. I remember during my time in Russia, a Russian student wanted to argue with me about how "Americans are dumb" because we're always smiling at everyone, even strangers we pass by. Of course, we see this as simply being friendly. To them, we look ignorant and carefree. While walking the streets of Moscow, no one would smile at me walking by, or even smile at a friend without reason to do so. To us, this seems rude. To them, it's their culture. From what the student argued to me, Russians don't want to appear weak or empty-headed by being overly friendly. Perhaps that is a stereotype, but I believe that Illyich knew he wanted to be pitied, but knew he wouldn't get it due to the strong-mindedness of the local culture.
ReplyDeleteI took a summer comp class last year and I got to understand different perspectives on human gestures and behaviors. At first we might think that certain people who think that constantly smiling is a weakness is lacking courtesy and socially acceptable behavior. But then we start to read on about hand, facial, and even eye movements that could be completely ok in our society but then we go into another country and find out that this type of gesture is rude and offensive to others. It's all about "knowing" the right way to act and the place to do it too. I do believe that mean-spiritedness comes from a individual and the society as a whole. We can prevent this type of atmosphere by departing from harmful beliefs that seem to delude acceptance and the personal rights we have as humans.
DeleteThis is a good response to the question. What is "mean" is almost entirely dependent on the standards of the culture. I mean, calling someone fat in America can be taken worse than spewing profanities at them, whereas--from what I hear--in Japan it is normal to comment on people's weight. It's not an objective thing.
Delete-Madison C.
I see where you are coming from Madison!! And it does depend on where you settle in and what kind of people/ nationalities you are around. Some places it is horrible and very disgusting to use a thumbs up sign in other countries outside of the US. It actually stands for a unacceptable and disrespectful word that would offend anyone. A lot of behaviors and actions that are completely normal and maybe even socially expected from people would lead to conflict and major problems with other people that live over seas.
DeleteI believe culture make us feel like we need to pity those less fortunate than we are, and in some cases make us want to help. For example, when the commercials about children in Africa who desperately need medicine, or about abused and abandoned animals, those are meant to generate pity and convince us to attempt to help by paying money to organizations to help them. As for “mean-spiritedness” I agree with Linzi. “Mean – spiritedness” can definitely be a personal quality. There are some people I know who I have never heard a nice thing come out of their mouth. As for society at large being “mean-spirited,” I think depends on the society you are looking at, and the situation.
ReplyDeleteIt all depends on the perspective of the individual. Mean-spiritedness can be seen as constructive criticism or a way to better someone to some people. Yes, as a whole we can pretty much define what mean-spiritedness is and what it results in. But like you said Destiny it depends on where you live and the given predicament that the society is in at the moment. I love that we are able to use emotion through television and other tools to receive a wanted response- money, time, employment. Mean-spiritedness can cause this to occur. Once this aura of unpleasantness is set in then people begin to notice and begin to react to it either in a positive or negative way.
DeleteMean-spiritedness can be both an individual and society trait. Why? Well I think that people filtrate certain behaviors and actions as negative and “not comforting”. As more and more individuals act in socially unacceptable ways the more the society is wrapped in an environment of mean-spiritedness. So the individual people themselves, if enough, form an unsettling aura of crudeness and unwelcomeness. The society is controlled by the people that run it and it affects the society’s cultures, customs, and ideas. Culture plays a major role in how we perceive others and how we feel about others. We see it on billboards, advertisements, commercials, websites, and in the workplace. Culture is resilient in the way it tries to shape our beliefs about others and ourselves. The society I grew up in was quite preppy and the amount of cliques and groups were numerous. Depending on where you went and associated with- mean spiritedness could be felt and even impact others that did not have one mean bone in their body. I think that every society has those mean spirited person and those places that seem to always give off a bad vibe. Overall mean-spiritedness is not restricted by individuals and society but nations, countries, and even at a type of global stage.
ReplyDeleteThere is no doubt that culture shapes how one person views another. These different views are what make cultures unique from one another. Culture definitely affects attitudes toward others. As for “especially those who are less fortunate than we are,” I think the answer becomes less clear. There are few universal components that qualify someone as “less fortunate.” Other than the obvious, wealth, and the condition in Being Mortal, sickness, I think cultures have such differing views that it is difficult to give a black and white answer on this subject (and really, is there ever a black and white answer anyway?).
ReplyDeleteTake, for example, the situation Gawande presents in chapter one. In Indian culture, the elderly are revered, and often their children care for them until they pass away. In American culture, the elderly are put into homes with other elders when they grow too old to take care of themselves. If asked, an American would probably say that a senior citizen is “less fortunate” than others due to being unable to care for himself. An Indian’s opinion on the matter may be completely different. Are those with the same disability (in this case, as a result of aging) always on the same level of being “less fortunate?” If so, then I say yes, culture does shape attitudes in this case. However, if not, if being old in America and being old in India aren’t universally the same, then I say no. After all, if being old in India is not seen as the disability that it is in America, how can the treatment of elderly in the two locations be accurately compared?
-Madi C.
I see it all the time on the news with all the problems in the countries of Africa and many others. People from America might feel sad for those people living in that type of state, but many of them would expect others to "give up" their money rather then them. I understand that people can be in financial binds, but there seems to be a "entitlement" that some Americans might feel from time to time and this might be the core reason that some Americans don't feel obligated to help with charities and donations.
DeleteThis leads to other citizens from other countries feeling that Americans are "fortunate" due to the fact that they don't really have to deal with MAJOR problems like national food crises, war, famine, and a viral epidemic. But an American might see an African as a blessed and free individual- not having to worry about strict laws under the Constitution, constantly having to keep up with paying real estate, and being expected to achieve high goals in life no matter who you are is not a common factor unless the person wants to shoot for the stars!
Culture definitely has an impact on how people will react to people less fortunate than they are. Here in the USA, our culture focuses on honor and strength of character. When someone becomes weak or unable to take care of themselves, they tend to not be shown pity because others assume that they wish to hold on to their “honor” even until death. The sick person is also too ashamed to ask for pity. I believe that this is due to our cultural views of death and honor. Everyone wants to die some kind of honorable death. People enroll in honor’s programs. The idea of honor is drilled into our heads every single day. Our culture teaches us that being pitied is a bad thing.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the term “mean-spiritedness” goes, I believe that it should only be used to describe a personal quality. To say that something is “mean-spirited” is to say that it was intended to hurt someone else. While North America may portray pity as the lowest of the low, I do not think that our idea of honor was intended to hurt anyone.
Honor gives a positive aura in this country and the way we perceive pity may seem sort of "pitiful" at times. I do not believe that you have to have one or the other but rather you can have both honor and pity. You can stay firm in honorable and strong beliefs in how you perceive life and yourself. And at the same time you want pity for the underlying reason for wanting people to understand what you are going through. In my eyes it is completely ok and fine and possible for this happen to anyone and no one should be afraid to do so. And for mean-spiritedness I see how you would think that it is only a individual trait and quality rather pertaining to a whole society itself. People are driven to achieve their wants and desires and some people use crude and rude behavior to achieve it. Society in your eyes (correct me if I am wrong) is rather not a combination of all of those different individual behaviors but a set and group of ideas and concepts of how we as people perceive society as a whole. By knowing this we perceive society through the eyes of social media, the state/government, and great and powerful leaders of our time. Thank you Kaitlyn for sharing this- this has given me a new fresh view on how we see mean-spiritedness.
DeleteLooking down on others because they are unfortunate is not a new concept. Social Darwinism was a prime example. It was believed that you were at the bottom because you were inferior to those who were fortunate.This "mean-spirited" idea of the time was proliferated by the society. Meanness may be a individual trait, but the society decides if its acceptable.
ReplyDeleteIn regards to current society, i do believe that it is generally lacks compassion, but it is not unwarranted. Entitlement has strangled dedication in the crib so to speak. Individuals can accept compassion and facilitate change, but the society has to accept it.
The individual and the present society can both have a "mean-spirited" aspect to them, however, I believe it is easier to forgive an individual's nature than an entire society's. Both can have many complicated and ever-moving parts that make it hard to pin down the reasons for a negative disposition. The difference is that an individual is often times more unconscious of their learned behaviors than a societies is of theirs. We constantly allow our culture to filter how we feel and act based upon the feelings and actions that are deemed appropriate by everyone else. This is our choice, and many great leaders of our time have become leaders because they chose to go against the grain in their beliefs.
ReplyDeleteI do believe that our society has created a lack of compassion that hasn't been seen in quite this degree before. The internet is most likely the main cause for this, and for many reasons. For one, we spend a lot of time freely sharing our thoughts on a platform where no pleasantries are required, and where toxicity is used without consequence. The internet is more vast in its accessibility of people than any other tool to date. It can be overwhelming, and make every person seem to matter less. Because of this, the trend is to find a way to make yourself stand out, and hardly every is compassion or empathy commonplace in this search for attention.
I think culture has everything to do with the way we act towards others. We are raised to act a certain way and if they say not to have pity on others (because pity is so closely related to weakness) we are not going to have pity. If a culture’s worst nightmare is weakness then we will do whatever we can to steer clear of it. Now, I do believe it is difficult to label an entire culture as mean-spirited while it’s quite easy to spot a person who nothing but mean-spirited. What Linzi said about the Russians is interesting and I don’t believe it is a mean-spirited culture they just seem to be more of a straight-forward type of people.
ReplyDeleteLaura N.
It really depends on the situation and the person. I subscribe to John Locke's theory of Tabula Rasa, or the Blank Slate theory. Everyone comes into this world with a blank slate, especially in America. Everyone has the opportunity to make a name for themselves. For example, anyone can go to college. If you are poor, then financial aid will help you. If your wealthy, then you can pay for your own education. The only thing keeping people from achieving their full potential are themselves. I have a hard time finding pity for people who could have had at least one opportunity to make something of themselves, but did not chase it. Some may say it seems mean-spirited, but many people have built up from nothing into something extraordinary. It all comes down to the person's drive to achieve something great. People who choose to drop out of high school with out an extenuating circumstance are the type people I do not pity.
ReplyDeleteIn culture, we have seen a shift from family orientation and care taking of the old to the technological and self striving era. As Atul says in chapter one, "The Independent Self", there was a time in his culture where the customary thing to do was watch after the old, sickly, and wise. The entire family who lived with the grandparent would be there to help them get accustomed to being old. It was expected. The family would be there and help out as much as they could with any assistance needed, no questions asked and no complaining. It was taught from generation to generation. The custom in America was to even act older just a century ago. People were wanting to be seen as aged, intelligent, and in need of some assistance or wanting to assist. Now, that shift has changed.
ReplyDeleteInstead of wishing to be there for the older individuals of our generation, we wish to send them to nursing care, doctors, anything that is necessary to make sure they are in different hands than our own because it becomes a burden. The younger age groups focus on self bettering themselves and creating a life most convenient to them. With technology advancing, money becoming tighter, and the image of what is "fun" all help change what use to be tradition: the preservation of the elderly, less fortunate, and sick. They are a monkey on our back, a problem that we see has no solution, so we do what we can to avoid what was expected. The new age images are running circles in our minds and leading us away from what was once a more generous and helpful society.
Mean-spiritedness is more of an individual quality than that of a unique trait or something that can describe a society as a whole. An individual could be having a bad day, lets say a recent widow, and than some how be kicked in public by accident and get mad, maybe swear at the person who kicked them, and in this scenario, lets say the person who did the kick was sincere and apologetic, and always had been. Neither here are mean spirited in the fact that one was having a bad day and the memory of his or her lost spouse. The other had an accidental trip, a fall, stridden to far not paying attention, and hit the human passing in front of them. Lets now plug a man who was always mad, griping about everything, and a chronic hypochondriac into this scenario and said he was to threaten the man who kicked him and was apologetic.
In the society I have grown up in, I personally have seen the lack of compassion through out the years. Media does not cover how to properly handle the needy, sick, old, or alone. There are programs and television shows that try to promote the idea, but clearly it does not stick with those who see it, me included. We watch people simply walk by the homeless, avoid travelling to nursing homes or assisted living centers. The sick in hospitals are rarely visited, left to morn themselves into a pity state. It is not uncommon for the commercials and shows to never even show a sick, elderly, or dying person being treated. Rarely do I hear of anyone going to help at charities, hospitals, or shelters. On the flip side of this coin, I know a couple who, with their hours added total, have had over 3,000 service hours in the past five years.
Sam A.
I believe that as a society, we do lack compassion, especially for the less fortunate. I'm not so sure tough, that it is solely the fault of our cultures, it could be more of a natural reaction. I think naturally we believe in survival of the fittest. I'm not saying that we don't think it's okay to help others, but I think maybe we view the less fortunate as a sort of failure, because isn't that technically what they are? Didn't they technically fail at succeeding? I understand that it is not always their fault, things happen, things we can not control, but that's part of life. Life is basically to adapt and survive within your environment. Now I realize that we as Americans have made life comfortable for ourselves, seeing how we have found ways to protect ourselves from our environment, but on a basic level those of us who fail are the homeless, poor, sick and dead (minus dying of old age, which is inevitable) . Those of us who succeed are rich, healthy and alive, and we naturally want to obtain all of these things. That's why I believe as human beings, as animals, we naturally don't feel bad for people that are less fortunate. People will help homeless people by giving them money, but honestly they want them to use that money to better themselves, to go get a job, to succeed. They want people to succeed, because that's the natural way of life, success.
ReplyDeleteChisum Henry
The society I saw as I grew into the world constantly pushed for me to be adaptable. In that regard, my being compassionate fell under the category of being adaptable. I have been taught to be prepared for any situation, look for the solution that solves the most with the least draws backs, and be prepared to work with and around people. I believe that though the society I saw growing up to now taught me to be adaptable, it wasn’t inherently compassionate. Instead, society was much like an entity seeking the most beneficial way to the end goal, and forming bonds through mutual goals (i.e. helping others along the way simply because it is feasible) is actually quite beneficial. We slowly learn to form superficial bonds and manipulate one another, and those we manipulate do the same to others. The victim victimizes.
ReplyDelete-C. Elizabeth Cooley