 |
| "Hand with Reflecting Sphere" (1935) by M. C. Escher |
Do you have a relationship with an older person who wouldn’t mind letting you examine his or her hand?
Talk to them about the effect the aging process has had on them. Share what you would like from that conversation.
This person that I talked is from my nursing home and I asked her if it was ok if I wrote certain parts of our conversation onto paper. Of course she was thrilled about this and they encouraged me to make them look good. So without a further to do I will discuss our conversation and I will tell you what inspired me and enlightened me about the aging process. Also I will call this person M and throughout the paper I will make up the names of the family members for privacy reasons.
ReplyDeleteWhen M was younger she lived out in the country in the state of Colorado. She took great pride and joy into her family farm and the livestock that they managed. Because she was raised in the forties she had a very strict and structured family unit and her religious affiliations were well firm. She let her beliefs and her Christian morals to guide her path and her part as the youngest sibling/daughter of eight!! She remembered talking to her own grandmother (Mimi) and asking her what it meant for her to grow and mature with age. Her Mimi was very open. She said that the world had to make room for babies and young children therefore the older generation had to move on to the next world. She mentioned that the body wears off, skin becomes wrinkled, voice starts to become gravelly, and the bones fragile and easily broken.
M began to watch her Mimi get older and all the while see all the aspects of old life take its course on her. I believe that this was a real eye opener for her because right before M graduated from high school her grandmother passed away and then the journey into understanding age and the traits that came with it began. She became a Registered Nurse at the age of 23 and applied for a hospital in Ardmore, Oklahoma. At this time her father (David) was diagnosed with cancer and the first stages of dementia. He was only 54 and he already had 2 falls and once he forgot where he parked his truck at a grocery store. M’s mother became rather tired after taking extra care of David and then she eventually took him into nursing home due to her own declining health. Unfortunately at the age of 58 David quickly declined in both his mental and physical states. Her mother passed away at the age of 65. She had her siblings and she stay connected with them, but all of them soon became impacted by diseases and disorders such as; Hepatitis, AIDS, Alzheimer’s disease, quick mental disturbances, social disorders, and high-levels of depression.
As a nurse she was closely associated with these types of problems on the job. But to see this occur to her loved ones hurt her and made her feel depressed herself. She never had a disease or health problem, but she was anxious about how much her own family handled the aging process. At the age of 80 she moved into an assisted living center and stayed there for 5 years before moving into a nursing home. At the age of 85 she began to lose her objects and possessions and she started to feel a form of anxiety when she met new people. Before then she was a very open and welcoming individual and didn’t know a stranger. She quit going to church and isolated herself from social events and meal times. Now being 94 she misses her family (now only her older brother Nick is alive; 98) and that she goes to therapy for her high levels of anxiety. Her hands are not very wrinkled and doesn’t seem to have aged much at all. On her hand there was a couple of crevices, darkened areas, and some of her nails were yellow. Her hands are shaky (probably because of her anxiety). She had a difficult time adjusting to her natural decline of health and aging development. M is currently living in a nursing home and she has been going to a knitting club for the past couple of years. She is enjoying her new found freedom she has with her new passion for quilting.
I really enjoyed this one!! A real eye opener and one that I would not mind doing again!!
DeleteThe church that I attend has numerous elders in it. I asked one woman, "What has the aging process taken from you?"
ReplyDeleteHer name is Garnett, she is 86 years old. She used to be an amazing cook, seamstress, and had an amazing farm. She explained to me that the aging process had taken her balance, her strength, her mobility, and her height, because she has shrunk about 3 inches, which she is not happy about. She told me that getting old has made life more difficult. Easy tasks like making dinner or doing the dishes, now has become a huge task that takes much longer than is should. I asked to look at her hand, and it was flat just as the book said. She then proceeded to try to flex her arm, as we do to show our bicep muscles. As she flexed, she joked and said, "my muscles have fallen down". She did mention that she hated the word frail. She said, "I may be old and wrinkly, but I am not frail. I could still hurt someone with my cane".
I have grown up around this woman, and I have first hand witnessed the aging process she has gone through. The thing that stands out to me is she always has a great attitude about it and can have a laugh about getting old here and there. She is an independent woman, who understands she isn't super woman anymore. It just takes her a little bit more time and effort to do daily tasks now.
Garnett has taught me to bake, sew, and cook some of her finest recipes. Sometimes, elderly just need a young person willing to do their hard work for them.
My dad is 65, much older than most people's parents my age. When I asked him how becoming older has changed life the most for him, he said it was his perception of time. When he was young, he was always looking toward the future, excitedly awaiting to see how scenarios would unfold. Now, he lives one day at a time. He finds it much easier to live in the here and now than he ever had before. In many ways, he said that this has made him appreciate what life has to offer, when you take things as they come, instead of picking and choosing what moments to live in and which ones to pass up. I think a lesson for anyone can be taught from that, and can appreciate what benefits living in the moment can bring.
ReplyDeleteThe person I spoke with was my grandfather. He first discussed with me the necessity of his hands when he was younger and before he had to retire. He originally supported his family by working on a farm, dealing with many animals and constantly building. Eventually, he got a second job at at&t, where he not only installed wiring and systems in large companies, but he was also required to do a lot of paperwork. His entire livelihood was dependant upon his hands. Within the past few years, he has had to hand off most of his work on the farm to other family members because his hands are riddled with pain from arthritis, and he is often left incapable of helping due to carpel tunnel. This has all caused him quite a bit of depression, because he says it makes him feel useless. He seemed very upset when he spoke about watching people he once raised doing chores he once did and caring for him.
ReplyDeleteThis showed me how the physical tole old age has onus can easily reach the mind as well as the body.
Maranda Clymer