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| "Rejected Geisha from Passions Cooled by Springtime Snow" (1825) by Keisai Eisen |
Do you consider yourself someone who is “willing to be rejected”?
Why are some people more willing to accept rejection than others?
Can you think of a context in which a willingness to be rejected might be seen as a character flaw?
Do you wish you had a greater willingness to be rejected?
What makes the difference between a person who is “willing to be rejected,” a person who is “accustomed to rejection,” a person who “accepts rejection,” and a person who “expects rejection”?
I do not consider myself someone who is willing to be rejected on something that I care about. When I am rejected it is not a fun experience. But being rejected has a lot of positive attributes. In Judo one learns more from being thrown then throwing someone. You learn from your mistakes and learn to “just keep swimming”, as Dory would say. I believe that some are more willing to accept rejection when they are more passive a person or they have been rejected more in their own life. A willingness to be rejected can be seen as a character flaw because of society’s thought that one should “Never give up”. Obviously a line has to be drawn and rejection accepted. I do wish I had a great willingness to be rejected because it would help me to not feel so hurt when I am. It is coincidence that the picture for this question is a Geisha. I just got back from Japan where Seppuku was the major result of rejection in some circumstances. Obviously this is not a good result of rejection, but it was their culture. The difference between someone who is willing to be rejected and who is accustomed to rejection is the person’s attitude. One is open to rejection and the other is used to being rejected, neither are bad things. However the person who accepts rejection and expects rejection are different. One accepts it after the fact and the other sure of rejection before it happens which is not a positive thought process.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you Tyler. Rejection can either be a drive or something that holds you back. When I was younger i had an inferiority complex (example of charactered flaw) and one of the downsides of that was I expected rejection from everyone. Sometimes , well most times I would be more surprised when things went my way and people accepted my views oppose to satisfied. I believe a person being accustomed to rejection and expecting it can go hand in hand. Because they both produce the same kind of mindset and attitude; a diminished drive to pursue anything.
DeleteWhen you expect rejection you do not pursue anything with a purpose, you pursue it withe the mindset of "I know this isn't good enough" instead of the "I worked hard for this, so whatever it is it may be."
A person accepting rejection is more likely to have the attitude as Tyler said to try again. I believe with accepting more rejection a person can develop a realistic view on life. Understanding that everything isn't ideal however that also means it's not the end of the world.
I cannot honestly say that I am willing to be rejected. Through the years I have formed a more realistic view of life but I do have a dreamer's view too. I have acknowledged that we are not going to be everyone's friend and that even some rejection is good for us if we let it strengthen us and let it make us more open. A person would be accept rejection for a multiple amount of reasons; social problems (unhealthy relationships), neglect (from others), avoidance (from others), and/or a very low self-esteem. I know that people may feel that they are not worthy of acceptance and that rejection is just a part of their lives due to who they are or where they come from (family/ country). Rejection can be seen as a character flaw if they continue to let it stop them from accomplishing their missions/objectives. A willingness to be rejected is also seen as a weakness in certain situations such as; a individual that lives in a strong-willed nation (saying "no" is never the answer), family that expects the individual to strive for excellence (academics and athletics), and being in a clique and group that their main objective is to expand their members (only accepting yes's). I wish I did have a greater willingness to be rejected because that would make me more of a impact on those around me. It would make me a more outgoing person and I would form stronger confidence in what I can do. I would love to be a leader sometime in the near future for a club/organization. And being rejected would be a matter of fact at times. Having a willingness to be rejected is a positive and good trait. Many effective leaders of the past such as Abraham Lincoln, Moses (in the Bible), and even Oprah had to undergo rejection before they got to where they are today. I would like to believe that over the years of their career they were willing to be rejected. Being accustomed to rejection I think is more negative and degrading than anything else. This only produces a sense of expectancy for being rejected and therefore it makes you not even attempt whatever your trying to attempt in the first place. Accepting rejection and moving on is a way to not be stuck in the past and to continue with the "present". Again expecting rejection is just a result and fruit of being rejected over and over again.
DeleteI could not agree more with you Tyler and Shanda. You must have a sense purpose in life and expecting rejection and being accustomed to rejection are offenders of this. Willingness and acceptance is the way to develop successful social and relational qualities and traits.
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DeleteI agree with you all completely. Acceptance of rejection and expectation of failure must me acknowledged as two very different things. However, I have a few questions.
DeleteAt what point does acceptance of rejection become outright passivity? How do we know when to draw the line?
Is one's willingness to be rejected more closely related to one's perseverance, or a capacity for realistic expectations? When does realism become pessimism? When does perseverance become stubbornness?
I consider myself to be both someone who isn’t afraid of rejection and someone who is absolutely terrified of it. I guess it depends on what I’m “selling”. If I’m selling an actual object for instance, or myself, I would be terrified. I’m the type of person who would take it personally and allow it to knock my self-confidence down a notch for a day or two until I came to terms with it. However, when it comes to telling people about my God, I expect rejection It doesn’t bother me. Sharing Jesus is what I’m called to do. Twenty rejections are worth the one acceptance. I do hope that one day it won’t matter to me at all. I hope I won’t care about other’s negative thoughts towards me and that I won’t let them tear me down. After all, I am a daughter of God, and he loves me unconditionally. That’s enough. That’s everything.
ReplyDeleteSome people might be more accepting of rejection because they're more accepting of themselves. I don’t see a situation where that isn’t okay. I see someone who is willing or accepting of rejection as confident. Someone who is accustomed to rejection is probably a little upset, but determined. Someone who expects rejection knows what they have sounds too good to be true, but they also know its at least worth a shot. Rejection can be hurtful, but it can also lead to great things.
I totally agree with you on everything you've said. I love how you worded the first sentence because that is exactly how I feel about this subject. As someone who struggles with anxiety, it makes it hard to get rejected if it is a personal thing. If I'm working or something, I know it isn't me being rejected and it makes it easier.
Delete-Lauren Tucker
In my case, willingness to accept rejection depends on the situation. I don't mind being rejected in most cases, but if it comes down to something I've worked very hard on, it's very upsetting having to deal rejection. I absolutely wish I was more tolerant of rejection.The ability to tolerate rejection would allow me to find a way to view the rejections as constructive criticism in a sense, rather than worrying about why i was rejected. The difference in those would be attitude.Someone who can accept the rejection can use it to better themselves, while someone who expects rejection may put little to no effort into their ventures. It all has to do with the person's attitude towards the concept of rejection.
ReplyDelete-Amanda Kramer
There are plenty of reasons some people might be more willing to accept rejection than others. One might be that they had become accustomed to it through either personal failure, or the constant reinforcement of self-uncertainty through belittlement or constant pressure by others (with “others” being sometimes groups or singular opposition). However, there are also those who come up with contradictory revolutionary ideas who usually will be willing to persevere regardless of backlash they may get from those who strongly support what is known to be as “mainstream”. For instance, someone might invent a car that runs on nothing but air, and knows full and well that it does with no issues, but would be ready to accept the fact that big business (those who make the most off of fuel sales for cars in this case) would likely respond by attempting to find as many flaws with their invention, or even attempt sabotage their attempts to sell the cars after information of them had been made public.
ReplyDeleteAs a human, I do not like rejection, but rejection is a part of life and growing. Rejection can be taken in two ways. You can accept rejection and move on, or you can let rejection defeat you. Any person you ask today that you consider to be successful if they ever dealt with rejection, almost all of them would say yes. In order to be successful, you have to accept rejection and keep moving forward, working harder so next time they will not have a chance to reject you. Too many people become discouraged by rejection.
ReplyDeleteBeing an athlete, I have faced many instances of rejection. Rejection is actually the reason I found East Central University. I was rejected by 3 other schools before East Central started to recruit me. I could have let those other three schools keep me down because they rejected me, but I kept working hard and I now love where I am going to school and the people I will be playing for.
Sometimes rejection keeps us in perspective. Meaning, we sometimes have to fail to get better. Rejection does not mean you fail, it just means there is something better out there for you. You just have to keep working hard and never give up.