 |
| "Taking up the Net" (1881) by Thomas Eakins |
What's your take away?
Don't answer this question until you've finished reading the entire book.
Saturday, June 20, 2015
The Being Mortal Takeaway
What's your take away?
Don't answer this question until you've finished reading the entire book.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I think Sara’s story will stick with me longest. While reading it, I was on the verge of tears because I could see Sara was ready to let go, but her family did not want to accept she was dying. I think part of the reason this was so difficult for me to read is also because while I was reading this, I imagined giving birth to my first child and not being able to see him or her grow up. I could relate to this story the most, but it was also the hardest for me to accept.
ReplyDeleteThis book made me really think about growing old. How your body starts to go against you; that slow decline of health that affects every aspect of your living. Before I had accepted the thought that I will someday die, but I had never thought about how that was going to happen. Will I die at 40 in a car crash or will I experience the slow loss of health? I had never before thought of myself with wrinkles. Before reading this I could not even fathom not being physical able to do what I wanted to do.
ReplyDeleteThis book has made me think deeply about my mortality. Reading about the last weeks of these dying patients, I've noticed myself appreciating and thinking of my life more "in the moment." What will stick with me the greatest, however, is Atul's dad's slow decline towards death and how seemingly well everything was handled. This made me think about my own dad, who has been in and out of hospitals for the past few years. Overall, I think this book has made me realize not to take life for granted.
ReplyDeleteThe story that will sticks with me the most is that of Alice Hobson’s. It broke my heart to hear how she went from being vibrant to being depressed. I had never stopped to think of how I might have to give up my independence, but this book has made me stop and think about how one day I might be in their shoes. That might be me in the future, living in a nursing home with little independence. I had never really thought of it that way before this book, but it changed the way I view growing older.
ReplyDeleteWhen Gawande illustrated how a palliative care nurse dealt with her father's failing health, she did not see her father’s issues from a problem solving angle, but from what her father wanted most and what could make their time more memorable together. I learned I cannot expect medicine to fix every problem, but even to the very end of a person's life he or she can still have a purpose, and that by putting the interests of that person before my own hopes, life with that person can be enjoyed moment for moment.
ReplyDeleteThe story that will stick with me is most definitely Sara's. To be diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer is devastating by its self, even more so while you're pregnant. I can't believe all the different types of chemotherapy, and other treatments, she put herself through. I understand that her family didn't want to lose her, but I believe that there is a point where the family should sit down and discuss their options. I find it heartbreaking that it comes to the point where people suffer needlessly for their family’s sake of mind like poor Sara did.
ReplyDeleteIt’s been a few weeks since I finished the book, and what is most likely to stick with me is how fleeting life is, and how unprepared we are to die. Even if we know death is imminent, like Gawande says, we’re thinking in terms of years, not months or days. It’s very humbling, I think, to see things this way. I’m sure most of us have things we want to accomplish in life. To think that it could end before those goals are achieved is somewhat terrifying.
ReplyDelete-Madi C.
The story that will stick with me the most is Lou Sanders’s. Lou’s story makes me realize the two options we have at the end of life. We can either move into a family member’s home or move into an elderly home. Lou’s story made me sad because it seemed like he had given up. But it also made me realize that life is what you make it. If you have a bleak outlook on the future, your future will be dull. But if you think positively and look for something good in every day, you will enjoy your life. Once Lou began to make friends and become involved with other people, he enjoyed his life much more.
ReplyDelete“We want autonomy for ourselves and safety for those we love. That remains the main problem and paradox for the frail. Many of the things that we want for those we care about are things that we would adamantly oppose for ourselves because they would infringe upon our sense of self.”
ReplyDeleteThis quote from the book really sums up my thoughts. It has influenced the way I will care for my parents and the choices I will make in the future.
This book really opened my eyes to see how finite human life is, especially in regards to my grandparents. I have a great grandmother with stage IV lung cancer who I had neglected to call or visit in a few weeks, and I had a “WOW” moment after reading about Sara and realizing how quickly things could progress even if she is fine at this moment. Too often I get caught up in life and forget to cherish the time I have with those closest to me, and after reading this book I am now making that a priority.
ReplyDeleteI was particularly moved by the story of Gawande’s father. I realized that even though some amount of dignity and autonomy is inevitably lost in the process, death is not necessarily a defeat. We must acknowledge our own mortality, and when death comes, we can only hope that we’ll be ready.
ReplyDeleteGawande closes the epilogue by simply stating, “We headed back toward the shore.” I feel like this can be taken metaphorically. Being mortal means that although the approach of death is to be taken acknowledged humbly, we still must live while we are alive.
-Tyler Rhoades
The most sentimental and emotional-provoking part of the book was about Gawandi’s father. Even though it was towards the end of the book I was hit by a wrecking ball of emotions. Gawandi knew that his father was unprepared to lose all of his basic life skills and abilities. He was a surgeon, district governor of Rotary, and he loved playing tennis with his son. Overall he was independent and glad to be alive. Then he was diagnosed with a tumor on his spinal cord and everything went downhill. Being mortal is highlighted in this aspect of this book.
ReplyDelete- Jacob McCarty
As a nursing major, this book was extremely relevant to my field of study. It has changed my viewpoint on my future profession, however, because before I thought of it as a very straight-forward job. You go to work every day to help, heal, and save people's lives, but now I see that the best way to help someone isn't always with more medicine and more treatment. People need to be able to discuss their mortality and their goals for their final years or months of life so that they can maintain a manageable state of living and continue to enjoy life up until their final days. It is concerning to me that doctors have the power to decide how a patient lives out the rest of their life but are too afraid to tell them the severity of their situation.
ReplyDeleteThe part of this book that will really stick with me is probably how society views/treats the elderly. I hadn't thought much about it before, but the book definitely puts the way the elderly are treated in the U.S. in a new light. They are mostly just left to someone else who cares for them, often much to the older person's dismay, and all but forgotten about in a sense. This is very different compared to other places. Therefore, this is probably the most outstanding point in the book to me.
ReplyDelete- Amanda Kramer
I believe that the part of this book that will stick with me the most is the independency of Alice Hobson and Sitaram Gawande, even though these are early characters in the book they stand out in my mind because they remind me of my family in the way that they want to care for themselves and not have to rely on others to do their work. Every time I think about this book I can't help but think of how Sitaram died doing what he loved to do and never gave up in his life.
ReplyDeleteWhat stuck with me most would be the amount of money that people spend to prolong their lives even by a day. Those numbers were staggering, and it made me think on how people make decisions when it comes to life or death. Instead of wanting to die quicker and lessen the pain, people often want to choose to live longer while suffering, just to have that much longer of their life. It also doesn't help those numbers that family members often panic and take an expensive treatment to try and keep their loved ones alive for just a bit longer.
ReplyDeleteThe part of the book that will most likely stick with me is chapter seven. Gawande's disclosure of personal experience with his and how difficult it was for him to put his trust in other doctors will be my greatest takeaway. See we are merely flesh and bone. The body we live in is going to give out regardless of how fit a person may be. We are all dealt the cards of life but how we play them can either end the game or have it prolonged. Unfortunately, we never really know when it's time to stop gambling and just walk away from the game of life. It might be harsh but it can sometimes be the best decision for both a person or their family.
ReplyDeleteThe overall message of the book—that we are mortal and have to find the most effective method to cope with our mortality when it nears—is what resonates with me the most. Each story debated the same two options; fighting our mortality and risking pain to slightly expand our lifespan, or accepting defeat and living out the rest of our lives as comfortably and peacefully as possible. Having lived a fairly healthy life, this debate has never truly presented itself to me, though I now question how I might decide when placed in the positions of those mentioned in Being Mortal. Would I choose to keep operating and trying different “solutions”, or choose hospice care to remain relatively comfortable and accept the inevitable?
ReplyDeleteTo choose a specific portion of the book, I would say the seventh chapter resonates with me. As I mentioned, I have never dealt with the "hard conversation" before, but I was reminded that, one day, I inevitably will with my own parents. Reading Gawande's struggle as he had to have the hard conversation with his father was something to which I could relate; the challenge of changing roles and becoming the patient's family, trying to decide how to care for their elderly relative. I will have to face the fact that my parents have aged and can’t maintain their independence anymore. They will have to have help, and my brothers and I will have to decide how to help them.
The part I will remember the most is definitely the closing chapter. It culminated everything Atul learned in his studies of aging. The kind of cruel irony of the event got me. It showed that even doctors are not excluded from these hard conversations we all must have. I related to Gawande's father in that he wanted to remain at full cognitive ability. He didn't want the surgery if it meant he couldn't talk to people. The mind is such a precious thing, and preserving it was the most important thing to him.
ReplyDeleteThe part of this book that will stay with me is how Gawande revealed the changes in autonomy as a person aged. A sentence that made me step back from the novel and reflect on for a moment was, "Who knew you could be a rebel just by eating a cookie?" The idea of not being to control any aspect of my life - not even something as simple as my diet - is not something I had ever considered as I aged. This novel has made me realize that independence is not something I should take for granted.
ReplyDeleteBeing Mortal has opened my eyes to the process of aging, and all that accompanies it. My take away is that we cannot stop the inevitable, but we can improve the quality of life of the elderly simply with an understanding of the freedom that helps tie them to the world. Gawande sums it up when he states, “The battle of being mortal is the battle to maintain the integrity of one’s life…” Now that I have read this book, I will think about mortality often and have a new perspective towards the elderly, my health, and those I love.
ReplyDelete---Haley Odell
The thing I’ll take away from Being Mortal is that people are people with lives. Doctors and families are above the sickly. They make the decisions because they know what’s best, but by giving a person life they’re really taking it away. What’s life without your passions? This relates to a lot for me. I’ve been given a lot of leadership rolls in life. While doing things the way I see best, I could be killing someone else’s passions or ideas. Again, all people are people with lives, and every thought they have matters in a huge way.
ReplyDeleteI have always struggled with letting go. Whether it was an old friend or a loved one on the brink of death, I've always been selfish in my desire to keep them with me. Being Mortal assured me I am not alone in my struggle, but also showed me why it is important to let go. Every moment of life matters, but even more so at the very end.
ReplyDeleteThe biggest impact that this book had on me was the reminder that we are indeed mortal. I think people at my age believe themselves practically invincible and incapable of growing old while simultaneously entering the prime of our lives without realizing that in roughly ten years, our bodies will start reproducing cells at a loss instead of a gain and thus begin our journey into old age. While this is a morbid thought, I do believe that there is much to be experienced in your golden years despite the physical deterioration that comes with it.
ReplyDeleteThe part of the book that will stick with me is Felix Silverstone and his wife Bella. The care he showed, the compassion he had as her caregiver, even when she could not realize it or reciprocate in any way belied a depth of love and compassion that is beautiful and stunning. That even when it is difficult for a person to perform assistance for others, it can still be completely necessary to complete the task, because it shows what cannot be understood with simple words.
ReplyDelete- Colin Saner
The part of the novel that will stick with me is Alice's story, especially the part where she whispers, "I'm ready," to Jim. Even though the passage about her death is brief, I believe that it is one of the most emotional parts of the book. The passage shows how much a person's independence can effect their life.
ReplyDeleteIn all honesty, the part(s) that will stick with me is all of the medical advice that was given throughout the book. Many of the tips and general conversations, such as when Gawande is having a mealtime visit with the Silverstones, and Felix informed Gawande of the difficulties the elderly have with chewing and swallowing, why, and a way to resolve it. I've relayed much of this information to my grandparents and other people I know it can help. These are just things that catch my eye most.
ReplyDeleteMaranda Clymer
The part of Being Mortal that will stick with me the most is the story of Gawande’s grandfather, Sitaram. Sitaram died when he fell off of a bus on his way to do business that would secure his ability to remain alive - “alive” as in living the way he desired, not just breathing. We are all mortal, as the title of this text suggests. The lesson Sitaram provides is that life without passion is worse than dying, and I will never forget his story.
ReplyDeleteI especially enjoyed Chapter 5 and its underlying message which points out that in order for people near the brink of death to bounce back, they need a reason greater than themselves to live, whether it be another living thing assigned to them or personal/community projects. Also, I found the idea of a nursing home being overrun by a bunch of animals as an improvement to what a good deal of nursing homes are like today (out of the few I have visited, I have felt like I was on death row or something similar).
ReplyDeleteI loved the stories about Dr. Thomas and the others that were trying to improve the care and living places for these elderly people. I believe there is a way to take care of them but still let them have their independency so that they still feel like a person and not just a patient. This book influenced me to do more work with the elderly.
ReplyDeleteWhat will stick with me most is when I had the realization that once an illness is terminal, the focus should shift to the wishes of the patient, what they want out of life and how they want to live it, instead of "What new painful experimental drug can we try next?". A family like Sara's never knew when to stop and it ultimately cost her the rest of her days. Would she live a normal life? Of course not. But they should have stopped, faced reality, put Sara's wishes first and I feel everyone would have been better off.
ReplyDeleteKyle Bailey
The thing that sticks with me the most is the story of Sarah, the woman from Wisconsin, who's struggle was not a struggle as it should have been for her and her cancer at first, the true fight set in as treatments and time didn't play in her favor, and the unavoidable death. This fight that cannot be won, only prolonged is the thing I find the most haunting and beautiful in this book.
ReplyDeleteSam A
I never realized how much we Americans view aging and death as a burden that should be shouldered by doctors and caregivers. Right at the beginning, the story of how his grandfather was able to function as a human being all the way up to death, while many Americans are cooped up in nursing homes, rotting out the rest of their days surrounded by strangers and watching cartoons all day... it really made me think about how I want to die, and how I want to treat my grandparents and mother when they are dying.
ReplyDeleteWhat cognitively affects me the most is knowing that you can't keep from dying. You don't get a choice when it is finally your time to go. It's scary because no one definitely knows what is waiting on the other side. Is it numbness, or could there be a Heaven and Hell, or the ideas of other religions? Since we are going to die, why do we have memories? How can we remember what is happening now, if it doesn't matter after we die? Why do we try now, if only silence and coldness awaits us? The fact that we knowingly die, and that we still don't go out and do whatever we want. We get old, then we go to the hospital knowing we won't leave, that we will ultimately meet our demise in a cold hospital room, or at a nursing home.
ReplyDeleteChisum Henry
The biggest idea that I will take away from Being Mortal is the idea of enjoying life until the very end. So many people die in hospitals, trying to get that miracle treatment that will let them lead a normal life. They never receive this treatment. Some people are too afraid to admit that there is nothing they can do. Gawande proves in this book, however, that people who stay in hospice or with their families live longer than those who don’t because they chose to live out the rest of their days to the fullest.
ReplyDeleteThis book made me realize that life is fleeting and there is nothing we can do except to hold on the ride. It also showed me some of the things that I take for granted. Life isn’t a walk in the park for everyone. I’m thankful that I still have my grandmother and that she is still as vibrant as she was when I was young.
ReplyDelete-Lauren Tucker
The way that life transformed the nursing home that Bill Thomas was in charge of really stood out to me. I enjoyed reading about how even the most depressed clients in the nursing home started to open up once the animals were brought in. I think my love for animals is why I found this to be so interesting. It also intrigued me that it was such a simple solution to the pandemic of depression. It reminds us to think outside the box and maybe even push the envelope like Thomas did once he was in charge of the home.
ReplyDeleteBefore reading this age was just a number. My parents are both in their 60’s so the thought of someone being too old was never a problem. While reading this I think the thing I took away the most was the thought of my parents. By the time I am married and start having children how old will they be? Mid-sixties? Early seventies? Will they be able to play with my children like they play with my nephew? Will one be gone? We always think “well life is short”, but what if it isn’t?
ReplyDeleteWhat I will most likely never forget is Gawande’s grandfather. Seriously though, what an amazing life to live! This entire book is about dying and how awful and scary it is and how sometimes all you can do is try your hardest to die comfortably but it is the exact opposite with his grandfather! He lived his live until the day he died. I mean, sure, his grandfather spent two days, after he fell getting off the bus, in his home dying but before that he wasn’t in all this pain that people associate with growing old. Simply amazing.
ReplyDeleteLaura N.
This book rally just verified one thing that some don’t quite accept until they’re older, and that is that failure is sometimes a necessary part of the job. Sure, we accept that sometimes mistakes are made, but we always think of it as a problem to be solved. We, more often than not, believe that if we look at a situation from a different perspective, we can make things come out the way we want, or as close as one can get anyway. We aren’t taught that sometimes we just can’t do something. And that is the lesson I will take away. You can’t save everyone.
ReplyDelete-C.Elizabeth Cooley
I think the thing that will stick with me the longest is the idea of mortality as something that should be embraced in order for us to truly live life for all its meant to be. After all, what is light without darkness? It's cheesy and cliché, but it's so easy to forget how quickly life can come and go when we're wrapped up in the impossibilities of being human.
ReplyDelete