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| "Dead End" (1980) by Jacek Yerka |
If the stories we tell have a significant effect on our life experience, should we make a conscious effort to talk about our lives in terms of peaks of joys and less in terms of valleys of misery?
Saturday, June 20, 2015
Peaks and valleys
“In the end, people don’t view their life as merely the average of all of its moments—which, after all, is mostly nothing much plus some sleep. For human beings, life is meaningful because it is a story. A story has a sense of a whole, and its arc is determined by the significant moments, the ones where something happens . . . Unlike your experiencing self—which is absorbed in the moment—your remembering self is attempting to recognize not only the peaks of joys and valleys of misery but also how the story works out as a whole. . . . in stories, endings matter” (238-239).
If the meaning of a life is revealed not through an accurate account of your day-to-day experience, but through a narrative that dwells on significant moments, should we focus more on achieving great things than we do on simple pleasures?
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I think both achieving great things and simple pleasures are significant in the telling of our life story. When sharing our day-to-day experiences with other people it is common to hear about our achievements, as well as simple things we have done throughout the day. Those day-to-day experiences are moments in our life and some are more significant in our memory. I think it is the simple things in life that, when reflected upon, turn out to be our greatest achievements.
ReplyDeleteIn every meaningful story there are two key components: joy and sorrow. Our lives are composed of joy and sorrow. You cannot tell a story without one of those components. If you don’t experience tragedy in life there is not a gauge on what true joy feels like. I feel like we should speak of our lives in terms of both peaks of joy and valleys of misery. It takes both to make a whole story. Just like a well written story, characters face tragedy and they experience joy. Our story endings have yet to be finished. Yet, I am certain that the peaks of joy and the valleys of misery leads us to the telling of our own unique story ending.
It's as Holly says, both aspects are equally important. How exactly would a person be able to tell something significant happened to another if the first person didn't know what usually went on in the other person's life? Sure most of the time a great achievement is easy to recognize, but what if it was something obscure? What if the achievement is, at that very point in time, thought to be ludicrous? If some of life's simple pleasures aren't known, how is one supposed to know what is significant?
DeleteI believe that when we tell others about our experiences, humans tend to try and minimize what they view as a weakness, such as misery. When I tell my friends about my fantastic performance in the school production, I'm not going to tell them how I was sick with nerves before the performance. I can see what Holly means when she talks about a well written story, however when the story is about yourself and you aren't under a threat - such as illness or bullying, or the like - you will always try to make yourself be seen in the most positive light. I don't mean to say that a person will lie, but merely omit some of the facts.
I agree with commenters above that smaller achievements are important. After all, no one achieves large scale achievements without building their way to it and that it takes both joy to measure sorrow and sorrow to measure joy. I would like to add however, that sorrows do not only help you gauge joy more accurately, but they can also cause joy to be created. Often times, the peak was not found without having first gone through a valley. A tough loss in a competitive sport, a poor review of a song or routine, or even just a classic “bad day” can ignite someone to rise above that experience and attain more next time. The joy of the peak is not fully realized unless you climb a mountain to get there. Therefore, sometimes we find that the lower the valley out of which we climbed, the stronger the joy we feel when we reach the peak.
ReplyDeleteI believe it's the day to day activities and pleasures that shape our general character, while the peaks and valleys are similar to major climactic sequences within the story of our lives. The way I experience my daily life may shape the my story for my closest companions, but when telling the world about what type of person I am, I would probably be summarized as "funny and nice". No obituary ever said "she was kind-hearted... because she bought me Starbucks that one time". That one time I bought them Starbucks just gets accumulated with all of the other basic, day to day niceties into the generalized term of "kind". However, if I were to win a Nobel Peace Prize for discovering a 100% efficient, eco-friendly way to generate energy that also manages to feed starving children, the generalized term of "kind" expands exponentially. But, to that friend that I bought Starbucks for that one time, I'm still their nice friend, CJ. Perhaps what I'm trying to say here is that yes, the major achievements within our life shape our story to the world, but the daily events are the ones that shape our story to those closest to us.
ReplyDeleteWhat is a story without all of those things? Great achievements make for a great life story, but simple pleasures make it worthwhile. I value the days I have time to myself to reflect, appreciate the world around me, and just be. Some of my most cherished memories are spent with those I love, not on some stage being applauded for an achievement. Valleys of misery and despair molded my story; during those times I remember being surrounded by love and encouragement. Although the valleys are hard to endure, I do not believe they should be omitted from our stories. Our life is the summation of peaks and valleys, laughter and sorrow, failure and triumph.
ReplyDelete“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.”
- Gilda Radner
If we are the heroes of our own stories, then I think more emphasis should be placed on the valleys of misery, because with every failure, a great success follows that we use to heave ourselves out of that hole. The struggles that we overcome are a huge part of our story, and at least equally as important as the successes, especially when it comes to using your own experiences to help someone else out of a valley of misery. I think that we enjoy simple pleasures during the uneventful parts of our lives, when there are no significant ups or downs, so I don't think that enjoying simple pleasures all the time is an indication of happiness, just inactivity.
ReplyDeleteI believe if we make the most out of each day that we have in our limited time, and choose to think positively about everything that happens to us, even in the low points we will find the peaks. If you choose to focus on this mindset, I also believe that you will find that you have less low points becuase rather than focusing on the negative, you focus on the good. It takes a lot of determination and strong will to truly change your perspective to a more positive outlook on life. To give an answer to the question, while we tend to look back at the high points in our life, living day by day with a positive attitude will increase the amount of high points in life and make the lows more bearable. Living day by day directly influences both great moments in life and simple pleasures. If somebody doesn't take simple pleasures for granted, even something such as one extra hour of free time is a blessing. With this perspective in mind, I do believe we should focus on the peaks of life as we recall our stories, rather than the low slums that tend to come and go.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, achieving a balance between our achievements and our simple pleasures is the best option. If we look only at simple pleasures, we kind of sit still in our life development and forget to try things and take risks. However, if we focus only on achieving things, then what happens when you fail or have achieved everything you can think of to achieve? What do you turn to then?
ReplyDeleteI think we should also view our lives in terms of both the peaks and the valleys. Our experiences help to make us who we are, both the good and bad ones.Looking only at low points in our lives would be rather sad, while looking at high points would make the high points our ongoing expectation for life. If we forget the low points in our lives, wouldn't that make it harder to enjoy the high points? Likewise, if we look only at low points, wouldn't that make us fail to recognize when we are at a high point? Therefore, at least to me, we should look at our lives in terms of both peaks and valleys.
-Amanda Kramer