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| "Beggar" (2006) by Blek le Rat |
Can you provide an example that illustrates why you either are or are not a person who is good at asking for or receiving help?
Do you think society encourages one gender to seek help more than the other?
Does the willingness to ask for help align in some way with how much financial security you have?
Or how much education you have?
Or your age and maturity?
Would you say that people today are or are not more inclined to ask for handouts than they should be?
Asking for help is a cycle and great divide. When a person is younger asking for help is encouraged to keep children from danger and to aid in their development in communication. As a person matures and becomes a teen asking for help is encouraged less. This could be adults urging teens to practice independence or because they believe that teens should know or already know the answers. However, as a person grows older, they cycle back to the need of having help to complete tasks they were once able to do themselves. Asking for help is also divided between gender. Society allows men to ask for help accomplishing domestic tasks but not women. In the same way society allows women to ask for help with physical labor but not men. This is the product of a society that expects boys to grow up only playing with cars and watching their fathers repair vehicles while girls only play with dolls and help their mothers cook, shaming the child if they stray from that set standard. People today are less likely to ask for help or handouts because of the internet where someone can find cheaper solutions to problems and instantly search for how to accomplish tasks.
ReplyDeleteSpecifically on the basis of gender, do you believe that our society is progressively changing on how we shame individuals? If not, do you think society ever will? Also, with feminism on the rise, do you believe that society will make a change and begin shaming women for asking for help with physical labor?
Delete-Kiley Watkins
Thank you for bringing up these two topics because while I wanted to include them, I did not want my answer to be too long. I do believe our society has slightly shifted in the way we shame individuals due to social media. A social media platform gives humans the capability of not just shaming individuals verbally like we have always done, it is also a way to easily view and distribute pictures and videos. Incorporating these different visuals results in the targeted individual(s) and viewers remembering the humiliation better. For your next inquiry, I believe that society already shames women when they ask for help with physical labor. While society does not shame women at the level it does men when asking for assistance with physical tasks there is still embarrassment. Women are already perceived as ‘weak’ and treated as such by society so whether they ask for help or not they are going to be shamed. Asking for assistance plays into society’s mindset of ‘fragile’ females and not asking for assistance is perceived as the woman being standoffish.
DeleteI am not one who will ask for help. When I do ask for help, it is because I do not know another way I could do it myself. Growing up I would ask my parents or my sister to help me with homework and the answer I always got was a sigh and "can it wait until later?" Ever since then, I have figured it out myself. I do not think that one gender asks for help more than the other. I also do not think that education or financial security have anything to do with asking for help. I believe that it is up to the person that needs help to either ask for it or not.
ReplyDelete-Abigail Fowler
I believe that whether a person likes to ask for help or not is not due to gender, education, or financial status. It has to do with how they were raised. I hate to ask for help. In my mind, asking for others to help me or give me something makes me a burden. It's just how I was taught. My family does not like to ask other people for help unless it is absolutely necessary. We always try to handle things on our own, even when others offer us help. Because I saw my parents turn down help from others even when it would have made things so much easier, I refuse to ask anyone for help unless I have to. I have friends that live near me, have a similar financial status, and lead lives almost the same as mine that do not have any problem asking for help. They were raised to reach out to others when you need assistance. Whether you are comfortable asking for help or not is almost entirely because of how you saw people around you act when they needed help.
ReplyDeleteThe welfare system was introduced in 1935, after the Great Depression. Bill Clinton introduced his “welfare reform” during his first term. He promised to “change welfare as we know it,” thus turning welfare something to be ashamed of. With this, asking for help also became something to be ashamed of, especially households with a male presence. With a man in the house, he was assumed to bring home more money, unlike a single mother, and provide enough for the family. With this in mind, younger generations are looked down upon for being dependent on others. Asking for help is somehow seen as irresponsible, as though every person has the opportunity to make enough money to pay for taxes, their home, transportation, food and water, electricity, clothes, etc. With the ever-rising value of the American dollar, but minimum wage not rising with it, being able to provide for these things becomes more and more difficult. More recent generations are beginning to realize there is no shame in asking for help, but older generations are still looking down of them for doing so.
ReplyDeleteSociety has twisted people’s minds to believe that women need more help than men do because that had been the case for hundreds of years. For example, Smarsh talks about how the women had to stick with a man to keep them supported and financially stable. Now that many more women can afford and are attending college, they can support themselves and their families easier than before. In today’s society, as women’s rights and independence come into play, people are becoming more aware that women can be providers too.
ReplyDeleteI one hundred percent agree with your statements here. You beautifully stated how the tide is starting to shift for society's acceptance of women as providers and leaders in their homes. Unfortunately with certain viewpoints (such as our President's) displayed so frequently and loudly in the media, I fear that the rights of an independent woman will begin to diminish once again as our capabilities are questioned by men. Do you think there is a way society can combat this issue?
Delete-Aislinn Beak
For me personally, I hate asking for help, but I don’t judge others for doing so. Honestly, I wish I was better at asking for help. Most people see it as a sign of weakness, but I see it as a sign of maturity. If a person can ask for assistance, they have officially gotten over themselves. Meanwhile, the rest of us would rather sit there and struggle because we don’t want people to think less of us. When it comes to gender, I saw a comment above saying that people are only allowed to ask for help on duties outside of their gender roles. I agree with that. Men are expected to know how to change all four tires and the oil in their car without question, and women are expected to know how to make bomb cookies and how to properly do the laundry. If either gender breaks this mold, they are told they are not manly enough or that they aren’t wife material. I believe that we are all supposed to help each other no matter what. Life is hard man! I don’t care if you’re a highly educated billionaire, everybody needs help with something! At the same time, if you are a highly educated billionaire, you should be extremely willing to offer help.
ReplyDeleteFor me to ask for help, I find it easier to seek out assistance if I do not know them well. With strangers there is a sense of not caring what they think as much as those you know and want to impress. I feel as though society does look down on people who ask for help, especially men. Men have been viewed as the primary providers for their families so whenever they have to ask its seen as a failure to their positions. Women, on the other hand, have been seen as softer and more emotional than men so for one to ask for help is not considered uncommon. Still I would not say I am one to actively search for help when I need it, as I would rather try to fix it myself to the best of my ability. Now when others come to me for help, I have no problem trying to aid them, almost to the point of a fault. When a girl in Walmart asks me to escort her because someone is following her or a guy at a gas station needs help with a flat, I do not think about the potential bad or dangerous situations. I wish that asking for help and helping others was a more common practice that existed in today’s time.
ReplyDeleteI am not a person that has ever been inclined to ask for help in any situation. I grew up most of my life being the older sibling so I learned how to do many things on my own. I do believe that because of the ways of society women have been perceived to need more help than men do in many situations. I also think that financial security can also pertain to how much a person does ask for help. The age of a person can also affect the manner of asking for assistance whether it is from parents or another family member.
ReplyDeleteOne way I can relate to this would be receiving help financially. I have had a job since I was of age to have one and have tried to pay for most of my stuff on my own the past couple of years. It's hard for me to ask my mom for money when I need it. She always helps me when she can and I appreciate it. I just feel bad anytime I have to ask for something because I know how expensive the world is. Even going out to eat with friends, if I don't have money to eat I usually just say I'm not hungry so I don't have to burden someone else with letting me borrow a few dollars. With this being said I am very quick to help pay for someone who is in need, because I know how tough it can be to ask.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I wouldn't have a problem asking for help from family or close friends. It would be harder asking help from people I don't know such as applying for food stamps, etc. In my opinion, society looks down on people on welfare who receive food stamps. Some believe those receiving those benefits have no motivation or a willingness to work. I understand that there are those that are really in need and these services benefit them. On the other hand, there are people who take advantage of this system and live off welfare their whole life.
ReplyDeleteMy mom has taught me that hard work and education pays off and applying for welfare benefits is to be used as the last resort. Therefore, I believe I must work hard for all I have and leave welfare benefits to those who really need it most.
In my opinion, certain aspects have a part to play in people's perspective of receiving welfare benefits. Older people are less likely to ask for help due to the belief you should work hard for all you get and not take charity. Men also seem to have more difficulty asking for help regardless of what area of need. This could be caused by toxic masculinity where they have been taught to be self-reliant and not show (weakness).
I have always been good at asking for help. In fact, I had to ask Landen how this whole comment thing worked because I was fairly confused. I know I am good at asking for help because my parents always told me that as humans, none of us have all the answers. So an answer that I might not have (such as how to change my name in the comments), someone else might know (like Landen). This shared human experience of not knowing everything has made me more willing to reach out to others. I believe that society has made it easier for women to ask for help, as unfortunately for long periods in world history, women were seen as the gender that “needed rescuing,” as messed up as that is. I also believe that those who have more are more willing to ask for help as the stakes for reaching out are much lower. They have less room to fall and have a security that is independent of the person/group they are asking for help from.
ReplyDelete-Aislinn Beak
I have always been really good at asking for help from the people who are supposed to help me, such as my coach or teacher. However, I would never ask for help from someone like a teammate. I think that this is because I have grown up in such a competitive environment, whether it be sports or academics, that I am almost scared of showing a weakness to someone who could use that to their advantage. Talking about it makes it sound kind of silly, but that is kind of how we are conditioned to think these days. Everything is a competition. I do not think that this has anything to do with gender. Society tends to judge everybody for everything in one way or the other. Whether you ask for help or not, you're probably doing it wrong in someone else's eyes. There isn't really a way around this, aside from working hard and doing things to your own standards.
ReplyDeleteI would argue that confidence allows you to ask for help for things such as education, financial security, maturity, and age. You have to understand that asking for help does not make you weak, it makes you smart.
Gender definitely plays a prominent role in determining whether a person will be open to receiving help. Society has always perpetuated two false characterizations of men and women: 1) that men are the “breadwinners” or the “tougher sex”, meaning that they should be less in need of help, and 2) that women are the “weaker sex” and should be more in need of help at any given time. These widespread stereotypes and more than just untrue; they’ve given society license to make dangerous assumptions about people in need, and in turn those very people internalize society’s assumptions about them. It’s a sadly neverending cycle of stereotyping. However, I do think we’re getting better about letting people know that nonconformity is okay, and that traditional thoughts about the roles that men and women play in society are no longer of any value.
ReplyDeleteI agree that most people in our society think women are less than men and therefore require constant assistance in physical labor. I'm not saying it is a crime to help women, but not all women need constant assistance. I believe that society does encourage one gender to ask for more help than the other. They assume that women will always need help so they should ask for it.
ReplyDelete