Can you describe a moment in your past when you blamed a failure or a shortcoming on someone else or bad luck or unfair circumstances (or "the boogie"), but later you came to accept that the fault was mostly yours?
If so, what factors led to the change in your understanding or your acceptance of your responsibility? Did other people help you realize that your analysis was wrong or is it something that you had to come to entirely on your own?
If so, what factors led to the change in your understanding or your acceptance of your responsibility? Did other people help you realize that your analysis was wrong or is it something that you had to come to entirely on your own?
I did and still do struggle with blaming failure or shortcomings on things other than myself. I run cross country and track, so it’s a little harder to blame things on other people (unlike blaming a lost basketball game on your teammates). My times are my times, not my teammates’ or opponents’; but I have always found ways to blame loses or bad times on other things like lack of training, lack of effort, bad weather, or having a bad day. While all of these things play into my race, in the end it is up to me to do the best I can and be happy with the outcome or work to change it.
ReplyDeleteI still try to blame other things for my shortcomings, but I am getting better at excepting that the results are my fault. First of all, most of the things I blamed my mistakes on where things that I control, therefore they were my fault anyway. Next, everyone has to deal with the weather and other factors like hard courses or delays. Lastly, succeeding in adversity is more rewarding than succeeding when everything goes your way. Sometimes when things don’t go your way, you just have to work with what you have and be happy with the results. My dad really helped me learn to accept that the faults were mine. He would always say “no excuses”, and I knew that I would just have to be quiet and start working harder. Now, I hear his words even when he isn’t there to tell me, and I have to change my attitude.
Your words, "succeeding in adversity is more rewarding than succeeding when everything goes your way" stands out in my mind. In the past I would have shot down that thought. Having a fixed mindset had me thinking that only when things come easy, are you intelligent. I have never been able to enjoy the process. Reading this book and making it through my last couple of complex classes has started to change my mindset. It now realize how rewarding it feels to be given a challenge and succeeding after much studying and hard work.
DeleteThank you! I agree, this book has really opened my mind as well. College really challenges you, because you have to work really hard for everything you get. I'm glad this book is helping you out too!
DeleteThere are numerous amounts of times where I personally have failed and tried to pass the blame off to someone else. But, the most troublesome account for me happened a few years ago during a soccer game. Like Abbie hinted at, it is easy for someone playing a team sport to blame their mistake on their teammates. After all, you do win and lose as a team. In this particular instance, I made a horrible pass back to my team's goalie and the other team's forward intercepted it and scored. My immediate train of thought was, "Oh, if she had just cleared the ball instead of passing it to me then I wouldn't have been put in that position" and, "Well, if she had realized I was passing it back to her she could've reached it before the other girl." In those first few moments after that mistake, I tried to pass the blame off to someone else even though I blatantly knew that it was my fault. In the team meeting after the game, my coach used my mistake as an example for others. He talked everyone, not just me, through what had happened and how I alone could have prevented it. How I should have realized that my goalie was not the fastest person on the team and he lead us all through what I should have done. In his talk, I realized that I was the only one who had made a mistake and I took full responsibility. I learned from my coach about the mistake and how to, hopefully, prevent it from occurring again. -Lauren Keck
ReplyDeleteA couple years ago I made a huge mistake and tried to pass the blame on anyone other than myself. A group of my friends had all decided to go to the lake together. We unloaded everyone's wave runners into the water and we took off. After a couple of hours of riding around it happened. I collided with another wave runner. We took all the wave runners back to the bank and loaded everything back up. I knew that if my parents found out it was my fault they would kill me. Instead, I said that it was both of our faults because we should not have been driving like we were. That way it was both of our faults and the blame was not all on me. A couple days later I realized that I could not let his parents pay to fix his wave runner when it was entirely my fault. I owned up to my mistake, and took the punishment that came with it. That day I learned that I can not keep putting the blame on others and I have to have to hold myself accountable for my mistakes.
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