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| "Conversation by Henri Matisse (1909-1912) |
Try this out: engage in a face-to-face conversation with someone and make a conscious--though unstated--effort to look at that person when you are speaking and look away when you are listening. Then (you could actually do this first--the order doesn't matter), have a separate face-to-face conversation with the same person or a different person and make a conscious effort to do the opposite: look away when you are speaking and look at them when they are speaking. In the comment box, share your reflections on the experience, what it felt like and whether you think it had any effect on the conversation.
Performing this exercise was odd for me since I am used to looking at people when I talk as well as when I listen. Thinking back on my conversations, I have more eye contact with friends when I speak and have a significant amount when I listen, but less so than when I talk. So for me it was difficult not to look at my friend since it comes naturally to me.
ReplyDeleteI had two conversations with the same person, my friend Michelle. Michelle is very outgoing; she is not afraid to talk or tell you what she believes. For our conversation to lag is very strange. When I looked away when I was talking and looked at her when she was speaking the conversation had a lag. After I finished talking there was a pause, as if neither of us knew what to talk about or who was to do the talking. When I looked at her when I was talking but not when she was there were not many pauses. Perhaps this is because there was a signal that indicated that I was finished. When I didn’t look at her she would talk faster and her voice became more enthusiastic according to what she was talking about, almost as if she was trying to gain my attention. The changes in her voice may be accounted for because since I was not looking at her she was attempting to tell the story through other means rather than her facial expressions. It is interesting the different ways we attempt to gain attention, especially when what we are talking about is interesting to us and we have a strong desire to share it.