 |
| "Double Hamburger" by Andy Warhol (1986) This artwork may be protected by copyright. It is posted on the site in accordance with fair use principles. Why? |
Use flowery modifiers to describe an unappetizing experience.
Subsequent commenters are invited to give each description two scores of 1-5 based on:
a) how unappetizing the experience is; and
b) how appealing the description is.
A lovely review of the ECU cafeteria.
ReplyDeleteAs you walk into the cafeteria you will be greeted by the wonderful lunch ladies with a slight scowl just like your mothers when you would track mud through the house.
If that doesn't make you feel at home, just wait till you try the scrumptious food.
The cafeteria has options for all of you picky eaters. They have a salad bar half way filled with the crispiest, ripest vegetables for you and hundreds of other students to lean over and self serve for your convenience. They also have a wonderful tuna salad for those of you who enjoy a great sandwhich. The tuna is soft and fluffy for those of you who don't like to bother with much chewing. They also feature the most well done hamburgers you could ever asked for; served in a big juicy pan of grease to hold in that yummy flavor. If you prefer a different meal each day of the week they are kind enough to provide that too. Five weekly options from chicken to fish! Do you hate when your chicken is too tender and you can bite right through it? Talk about lame! You will never have to worry about that problem here! The chicken is gauranteed to never be too tender. Likewise, the dinner rolls will never be too soft! It's a pain getting bread stuck in your teeth. Thankfully ECU won't let that happen.
Finally, I'm sure you want dessert! They have at least 17 and a half different options for you to choose from daily! Do you hate predictable food? You are in luck! Try a cookie. It could be chocolate chip, raisin, or maybe even some unique type of nut imported from a foriegn land that you might want to visit one day. It's basically culture in your mouth! Come have a bite!
Morgan Hicks
You had me rolling Morgan!!!!!! Can't wait to be back at school and make the healthiest of choices at the Taff Dining Hall! Yum...
ReplyDelete-Emily Davis
Reviewing the monstrosity of fast food, McDonald’s.
ReplyDeleteOwning over one-fifth of the entire fast-food market throughout the entire world, McDonald’s is the most publicized restaurant by far. Having said this, interesting enough, McDonald’s presentation of their food, e.g. their chicken nuggets, shows them as fantastic, deep friend nuggets served with your choice of dipping sauce. However McDonald's nuggets are actually mechanically processed chicken, containing eyes, tendons and everything else that isn’t feathers or bones, which is then washed in ammonia do to the fact that it is infested with bacteria. After its quick ammonia bath, it is dyed to change the color of the chicken from pink to white, and artificially flavored to cover up the disgusting flavor from the chemicals.
Contrasting the look of the nuggets once they reach your table, these golden bites start out as a mound of processed goop that is molded and transformed into nugget shapes and then flash fried for looks.
On the other hand, McDonald’s commercials and ads portray these nuggets as a healthy and great choice for a meal. In my opinion, they only add the options of sauces in order to drown out the flavor of ammonia in the hunks of processed meat. Whether you consume these nuggets or not, the eye-catching and mouth watering ads show them to be a much more desirable delicacy than they actually are. This alone demonstrates the dominant persuasion of our sight, smell, and taste over our actual knowledge of what we are essentially eating.
Hunter White
Oh come on Hunter that's the only thing I eat there!!! *sigh* gross.
ReplyDeleteIt was a beautiful day at school. It was one of those days you want to last forever. No homework, beautiful cloudy skies, and oh yes… it was Friday. By the time lunch comes around you’ve already sailed through half the day and the rest will go just as quickly. Even better yet, once you arrive at the cafeteria, you realize you are one of the first groups and there are absolutely no lines, and you have all the time in the world to choose between a ham sandwich and their new chicken sandwiches. As you approach the chicken line, you overhear the lunch ladies chattering about how much the state must love their children because they changed the lunch meals to such healthier options. The sandwich on your plate steams like it just came out of the oven when you open it, filling the air with the spicy and delicious smell of 'fresh' chicken. You pile on the ketchup and take a huge bite. Ice cold milk chases it down and you let out a satisfying ahhh… grinning and showing the table the piece of green soy still stuck in your teeth.
Wow theses are hilarious! Well to change the topic from cafeteria food and fast food here is one of the most beautiful/disgusting jobs ever!
ReplyDeleteWaking with the rising of the sun, the beautiful colors assisting the harmonious buzz of your alarm to draw you from the call of sleep. Your roll out of bed and begin your morning chores. Your arms are like that of a humming bird, the hum of your flapping wings is in time with the sound of drums, created by the cascading crashes of broken dishes. When the rainbow of colors created by the shimmering glass is swept away from its canvas you see the handsome face of the clock. You then realize that the bright blue car speckled with white should have been on the road taking you to your beloved job 30 minutes ago. When you do finally arrive you are greeted by the smiling face of a child no more than 3 years old. You reach down and pick her up feeling the warm smooth wetness of urine on your hands. You set the child down and grab her hand, the sticky sweetness bringing back memories of honey and home made maple syrup. On your way to the restroom you see Jimmy. His smiling face overrun by the vibrant green coming from his nose. You give him a hug. When you release him your once yellow shirt is a few shades darker. Your day stays much the same, you receive an relaxing exfoliating treatment from the sand in the playground, a rejuvenating foot massage from legos on the ground, and a refreshing shower from the cold of Suzy. Overall a wonderful day at the spa.