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"Blind Pew" by N.C. Wyeth (1911)
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Have you personally had an experience in which you've seen this phenomenon play out: a situation in which the attitude of the participants (including, perhaps, you) clearly shaped their impression of the value of the experience (either positively or negatively)?
I believe that anyone can make a situation good or bad. It all depends on how you look at the situation. A very simple example is when people go to the movies with friends.
ReplyDeleteSay you go to the movies and it just so happens that all your friends want to see the one movie you do not. Now you have a choice, go to the movie that in your mind you know your going to hate, or go to the movie you want to see alone. Well how many people do you know who would chose to go alone? Not many. So you go to the movie. Now here comes the part where you shape your experience. If you watch the entire movie in a bad mood thinking "I hate this," are you going to have fun? NO WAY! But if you take the time to think, "hey I am with my friends, and maybe this was not what I wanted to watch, but it could be ok," and then actually try and enjoy yourself, you will have a great time!
It is a choice each individual has to make. If one wants to be grumpy then they will be. If one wants to be happy, they will! You make the decision to have a positive or negative experience.
Nikolette Patai
Personally, I have witnessed this phenomenon play out several times. Quite a few of the experiences resulted in a negative outcome. At McGuinness we have a spiritual retreat called Kairos. It is a very popular retreat at our school, typically attended by juniors and seniors. One of my friends attended, however she was not looking forward to it. One of the girls she did not like was going on Kairos as well, and my friend feared that she would be paired with this girl and that it would result in a negative experience. As fate would have it, these two were in the same group of about 10 girls. Having imagined everything that could go wrong and how awful it would be if she was in the same group as this girl, my friend had a negative experience at a retreat that should have been enjoyable and God-filled. Unfortunately, she found little value in Kairos. Another of my friends, having heard the negative story as well as several rumors as to what happens at Kairos, decided not to attend. She was so anxious from someone else’s experience, that she missed out on a wonderful experience she could have had. This goes to prove that not only does a negative attitude shape one’s own experience, but it can also have a large impact on another person’s experience. It is easier to drag people down with your attitude, than to boost them up.
ReplyDeleteFor me personally, I can think of a positive experience. In the summers of 2011 and 2012 I participated in the National Catholic Youth Choir. Anticipating and looking forward to this experience, I was so ecstatic I had been accepted that there was not an ounce of negativity in my attitude. I looked forward to the music, the companionship, and the tour with overflowing excitement. The experience met and exceeded my expectations; it was, by far, the most meaningful and wonderful experience I have had.
Keeping all these instances in mind, yes, attitude definitely affects experiences. Anticipating things negatively can result in a dreadful experience, while having a positive disposition can result in some of the best experiences. As Walt Whitman said, “Keep your face always toward the sunshine, and shadows will fall behind you.” Look toward the positive things in life, and the negative experiences will fade.